Eyes Open
by LittleMissAngel13
Summary: Drugs, Sex and Alcohol. That's the life seventeen year old runaway Rose Hathaway has given into. But there is man, dark, brooding and handsome, who is determined to change her. The question is that can he change her before it's too late? All Human.
1. Chapter 1

****Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA****

**Summary: **Sex, drugs and alcohol. That's the life seventeen year old runaway Rose Hathaway has given into. But there is man, dark, brooding and handsome, who is determined to change her. The question is can he change her before it's too late? All Human.

***Warning: Context may include drug and sexual references as well as explicit language.***

* * *

I felt naked. The skimpy, dark maroon, satin dress clung to my flesh like another layer of skin. It fell loosely down to an uncomfortable level on my thighs. The dark, opaque stockings with bows at the end rolled up to the middle of my thighs, stopping just a few centimetres below the dress.

Sighing heavily, I turned to look at the mess I've become in the mirror.

My first thought of the woman staring back at me was, dangerous. Her chocolate eyes were almost vixen like, highlighted by thick eyeliner and dark eye shadow. Her dark hair spilled down in waves to her shoulders. Her cheeks glowed the gentlest shade of crimson there was.

She was beautiful, flawless almost but if you looked closely, underneath all that flawlessness you see sadness cloud her dark eyes. Her face echoed a look of hurt, anguish and hopefulness for the road that lay ahead of her.

"You're going to kill it tonight, Rose," Mia's voice came up from behind me. I turned around at the sound of her voice.

She looked like a doll. A perky porcelain doll with wavy blond hair, soft blue eyes and skin that appeared almost translucent.

To be honest, we never liked each other to begin with. She initially seemed like the daddy's little girl type but underneath that she was almost... friendly. She lost her mum in a tragic accident a few years ago leaving her with her dad now.

I guess that's one of the reasons we got on so well. It was like we'd both been burned by the same flame.

"Hope so," I replied, swallowing the bile that had built up in my throat.

"Hey, you're smart, sexy and one badass bitch, so what's to say you won't?" She challenged with a small smile.

I managed to break a smile in reply.

Rayne, my boss, called out behind the closed doors "Rose, you're up!"

I glanced at Mia through the corner of my eyes catching her nodding her head at me, giving me thumbs up.

I pushed open the heavy metal door that lead out into the club. The strong smell of alcohol mixed with smoke and sweat caused my insides to burn. I looked around frantically, making sure there was a bathroom ready in case of emergency. I spotted one at the back and said a silent prayer.

"Any last minute words of advice?" I asked Rayne, who was scanning the room with her hawk like eyes.

She didn't even look at me when she replied, "Yeah. Don't fuck up." Her voice was rough and unfriendly just like personality.

"Thanks," I raised my eyebrows, breathing in and walking out towards the stage that held a single silver pole in the middle.

"Hey," someone behind caught my hand, stopping me and almost causing me to nearly trip over due to the six inch heels that held me up. "Here, you earned it." Rayne held out her lace, glove covered arm to hand me a few bills. Beneath the fabric I could see her scars.

I frowned unbelievingly, "Thanks?"

"You're welcome," she almost smiled, "Now go out there and show them what you've got."

I nodded, hastily stuffing the bills between my breasts before walking up to stage. I felt hands reaching out and fingers brushing against my skin as I made my way through the drunken crowd.

I climbed each step with caution, trying to remain steady and upright as I reached the lifted platform that they called the stage. I could feel all eyes on me causing me to shake inside and out. What made it worse was this dress. I felt like I was standing in front of a crowd that mainly combined drunk and gaping men, stark naked. And I tell you, it was uncomfortable.

The steps came to me once the music started blaring threw the stereos. I started with my legs apart just like I was taught. Starting at my neck I dragged my hands down my chest to the area between my thighs. People howled, whistles coming from the crowd.

This was my moment. It was now or never.

No one could save me now.

* * *

"_I love you, baby." Those were the words my boyfriend told me on the day I turned sixteen. _

_Jesse was one of them golden boys who were born into a family who was drowning in wealth. His parents were well known around town and always expected the best from their son. Jesse wasn't that type though. He got sick of being under spotlight and constantly feeling the burden of his family laying on his shoulders._

_During school, he always had his eyes on me, watching me like an animal watches its prey. Like many girls in our year, I found him ridiculously hot with that gorgeous golden hair and hypnotizing deep, blue eyes of his. _

_When I was fifteen, it was a school project that brought us together. Of course to start out with I was thrilled that out of all the girls, I was given him as my partner. But my excitement died when I we ended up spending a lot of time together in and out of class. _

_I never wanted to fall in love. It didn't work out between my parents so what's to say that it would work out for me? All I knew about it was that it was overrated and unnecessary._

_But it was too late to stop myself from falling when Jesse and I finally made it official on my sixteenth birthday. We made a pact swearing never to leave each other's side._

_I felt sweat damping my forehead and the palms of my hands when I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. His arms were on my hips, his fingers fiddling with the hem of my lace skirt. I pressed my hand to his face, standing on my tip toes to kiss him._

_When we pulled away, I laid my head against his shoulders, breathing in the strong smell of his cologne. "I love you too, Jesse." _

_He smiled before tipping my chin up to press his lips to mine. "That's my girl." His kissed me softly before pulling away, "Let's do it, Rose. Let's make a run for it, just you and me. Let's find a world of our own." _

_I pulled away so I could meet his gaze, "I don't know, Jesse-"_

"_We don't belong here, Rose." He cut me off, his captivating blue eyes boring into mine, "You and me, this isn't who we are and you know it just as much as I do."_

_I sighed, knowing he was right, "But you're saying that we are running away, leaving our family-"_

"_What family, Rose? Huh? We have no family. My parents are total fucked up as it is so is your mum who by the way is never even home for you-"_

_I felt anger burning through my veins, "Don't take this out on them, Jesse-"_

"_This is all about them, Rose! Can't you see that?" His voice was raised, resentment obvious in his tone, "They can't even take care of their own kids even if their life depended on it. You're worth more than this, Rose. You really are." _

_I looked down at the ground, letting silence separate us for a few minutes mainly because I couldn't think of a reasonable argument to continue. _

"_I don't want to fight tonight, Jesse." I whispered, kicking a rock to the side of the road. _

_His shoulders slumped and he held me closer to his body, "I'm not asking you to, baby. I'm just saying that we should take a chance. Who knows where we'll end up but we'll never know unless we tried."_

"_There'll be consequences if we don't manage to make it."_

_He nodded, "I believe we'll make it though."_

"_Look Jesse, I love you but-"_

_He cut me off, "Rose, if you really loved me, you do it."_

That was two years ago.

Growing up, I never wanted my life to go this way. Running away from home at the tender age of sixteen and abandoning my mother- if you could call her that- to live in a one room apartment with my boyfriend. Now I'm on the verge of turning eighteen and work in a down town strip club and I hated it. I hated what I'd become but I knew there was no other option because Jesse was right. We didn't belong in their world. We had no real family or a place we could call home and anyway, considering the situation, I probably would've left home eventually.

"Oh baby, baby." Jesse breathed, a look of desire written all over his face. He was leaning against the passenger seat car door, his hair appearing a dark bronze colour under the dim, white street lights. It fell over his forehead, the ends just touching the arch of his eyebrows. Those blue eyes swept up and down my body as I walked toward him.

"Is that a compliment?" I whispered when I reached him. His body was so close to mine, his presence engulfed me causing my blood to gush down my blood speed at full speed. He smelt intoxicating, a mix of cigarette smoke and cologne.

"Only if you want it to be, baby." He leaned forward, pushing me back against the car so that he was looking down at me. My legs were in between his, our hips grinding against each others. He trailed his fingers down my shoulders, slipping two of his fingers between my breasts to catch the bill of notes. He pulled them out, counting the notes before letting his expression turn smug. "Babe," he paused, "I'm so fucking proud of you right now," He leaned in, placing a kiss to the soft skin below my ear. He rested his hands on the curve of my waists, pushing his hips further into mine. "We should celebrate," He nipped the lobe of my ear with his teeth, playfully tugging at it.

I moaned, tightening my grip around his neck and pressing our mouths together. His mouth moved with mine, the taste of alcohol burned strongly on his tongue. "And how do you propose to do that?" I whispered under his lips.

He grinned, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a tiny silver packet.

I gulped, "Baby, um, look can we go home?"

"You are my home." He kissed my lips, tracing his tongue along the shape of it.

I pressed my hands to his chest, pushing him away, "I'm being serious."

"Feisty." He hissed, placing his hands on my butt. "I like it." He smacked my ass before letting me go so that he could open my door.

Once he started up the car, we backed out of the parking lot leaving the sign boards still glowing behind us.

Jesse reached his arm out, switching on the radio before resting his hand on my knee, taping out the beat with his fingers. He inched his hand upwards to the inside of my thighs, lingering so close to the place I wanted him to be.

I sucked in a breath, wanting to change the topic before I end up doing something stupid. I cleared my throat, "Jesse?"

"Hmmm?" He turned his head briefly towards me, one eyebrow cocked upward. Damn. I hate how men could do that.

I breathed in heavily, laying my hands flat on my knees, "What are we going to do?"

Through the darkness, I made out a crease form in the middle of his forehead, "With what?"

"Our lives," I sighed exasperatedly. "I mean, we can't live like this. I can't handle having a hundred guys gaping at me dance wearing nothing for the rest of life and you can't keep trying to get drug deals and sell them around town to some messed up teens. We just can't survive like this."

His hand clutched the steering wheel tighter, pulling his hand back and I shivered at the loss of his touch. I knew this wasn't the best topic to switch to, knowing that it was kind of a sticky area for him but we had to wake up one day. "It's not so bad-"

I crossed my arm across my chest and let out a sarcastic laugh, "Oh so you're okay with guys ogling at me dancing around a pole in practically nothing?"

"Baby, I know it's not ideal-"

"I want a future, Jesse." I argued, my voice echoing through the car.

I could almost hear his body tense as his breathing become short and ragged. "So, you want a family now? Kids?"

"No, I want a future. There's a difference." I swallowed, "And maybe eventually, I guess, someday along the way we can think of having a family and-"

"Shit, Rose, we haven't even had sex yet and here you are talking about kids?"

"I'm not ready, Jesse and you know that." Okay, that was lie. I was ready as I'll ever be to give my body to Jesse but yet, I didn't want to lose my innocence to someone like him. It was almost like something in me was urging me to wait, telling me the moment- person- wasn't right.

He looked at me and I caught the feeling of hurt flash through his eyes, "That's been your only answer for the past two years, baby, you're gonna' have to come up with something new."

"Well, what do you want me to say, huh?" my finger nails dug into the skin of my palms and I felt tears brim the edge of my eyelids, "That I don't want to have sex with you? Because that's the truth."

I felt the car speed increase as he stepped on the gas. "So now, you're telling me that I've waited for two fucking years for nothing?" The car swerved, slipping into the lane next to us, nearly coming in contact with a car.

"Shit!" I gritted my teeth together, bracing my hands against the dashboard as he got control of the car again. "Jesse, keep your eyes on the road!"

One hand clutched around the wheel, he reached into his back pocket throwing me the small silver packet onto my lap. I looked down at it, my heart racing in my chest and blood gushing through my veins.

"I've carried that with me for the past two years, waiting for you." He said, "Wanting you and now you give me some shit about not wanting me back. Stop acting so naive, babe-"

"Rose." I said before I could stop the words, "The name's Rose."

"You're name's what I want it to be." He pressed down on the accelerator, the car racing through the night.

"I'm not you're toy, Jesse. You don't control who I am-"

"You're mine, you swore it to me."

"I swore it to the man who I was stupid enough to think that I loved." I spat the words at him, not caring how much the words hurt him.

"I gave up so much for you, Rose." He growled, his focus obviously shifting to the road and to me. "And this is your repayment?"

"You gave up nothing for me! I was the one-"

The car swerved under us, Jesse's hand flying back from the wheel. I gasped, having no option but to lean back against the seat and watch. My head banged to the side against the glass window when the car swivelled in the middle of the road. The end of my ear came in contact with a crack in the glass causing a scratch to break the flesh.

Abruptly, we stopped moving, our whole bodies swaying to the side when we hit a tree.

I couldn't breathe. Adrenalin and shock coursed through my veins. I craned my head slightly to the side to see if Jesse was alright. It was his side that came in contact with the tree.

His bottom lip was cut deep, blood dripping down his chin and falling to the shirt he wore creating dark stain on it. The driver's window beside him was shattered; the fragments of broken glass lay on his lap. Dark scratches ran their way down his face an arms.

Jesse caught me staring and shifted his gaze to me, "I'm so sorry, Rose." His voice trembled, body shaking with shock.

I didn't know what to say. It was as if the words were caught in my throat and I couldn't speak. I started to panic realising that it was very plausible that I did.

Posttraumatic stress disorder, that's what it was called. You could lose any or all of your five senses in very serve cases of trauma. Surely that couldn't mean just minor car accidents, could it?

A light in the distance caused me to squint and cringe at the sudden brightness. The shape looked like a truck with cargo attached at the back. It was speeding towards, obviously with no intention to stop. Maybe they couldn't see us.

I pressed down on the buckle of my seat belt, my heart doubling in speed when it didn't unlatch.

Using my second option, I looked frantically at Jesse but eyes were half closed like the energy had just drained from his body. I wanted to scream for him. Tell him that we had run but all the screams and words were caught in my throat just as the truck came crashing into us.

* * *

My eyes fluttered, instantly blinded by a sudden burst of light. I couldn't see anything. It was like my vision was blurred entirely.

I could hear voices around and the soft beeping of a machine coming from somewhere near. I realised that there were tubes stuck into my skin, pumping some sort of liquid into my blood stream.

It made sense, the whiteness of the place. It was a hospital.

I hated hospitals ever since I was a little girl when I got in a fight with a boy in my grade that nearly cost me an arm.

Hospitals, they reeked of blood and medicine, the screams of patients muffled the air. It made me want to vomit.

"Oh!" the silvery voice of a woman brought me back. "You're up, sweetie."

Her skin was pale like the rays of the moon. Her body seemed slim in that white nurses outfit. Her hair was the colour of sunshine, her eyes the deepest shade of jade I'd ever seen. She reminded me somewhat of Mia to be honest.

"Wh-what happened?" I stuttered, looking down at the white sheets that covered my body.

"You came into an accident, sweetie. A bad one," She said softly, checking the metres on the machine next to my bed. "You're lucky, the man with you... he- he didn't make it."

The man with me? The only man there was-

"Jesse," I breathed, a pang of numbness hitting me. "What- what are you saying? He didn't make it- what? I- I- I don't understand-"

"Shhhh." She whispered, "You need to relax. Deep breaths, honey, it's going to be fine."

"No! No it's not! Don't you see-" The moment I sat up, the pain hit me. It was my ribs. The pain scorched my insides. Something in me told me that it was too late to hope that nothing was broken. "Shit." I gritted my teeth.

She looked at me, "Told you so. Relax." I did as she said, breathing in and out. She sat down on the end of my bed. "What's your name?" she held up the notepad in her hand so that she could write in it.

"Rose." I answered. "Rose Hathaway. Care to tell me yours?"

"Lissa. Lissa Dragomir" she nodded, "And how old are you?"

My mouth dropped open. Great, we're playing twenty questions now. Why couldn't I have just died in the crash?

"Just answer the question." She noted my expression.

"Seventeen going on eighteen."

She nodded again, "Family?"

"Don't have one." I tried to shrug but the pain that hit me told me that wasn't the wisest of choices.

"What about your mum?"

"She's good as dead."

"Dad?" she frowned, averting her gaze from her notepad to my face.

"Never met him."

"Okay," she scribbled something on her notepad. "What about the boy in the car with you, what was his name?"

I closed my eyes, "Jesse Zeklos."

"And your relationship?"

"He was my boyfriend. Are we done?" I sighed, wanting nothing but for her to shut up and leave me to devour in self pity.

The pixie like nurse took a time to write a few final notes on that notepad of hers, creases that indicated her concentration were drawn across the middle of her forehead. She finally looked up, her signature angel smile on her lips. "Okay, Rose. You're fine."

I snorted, "Guessed that much. When can I leave?"

"Oh, you're not leaving, honey." Her smile turned almost sympathetic. "We found traces of ecstasy in your blood tests, are you aware of ever taking that substance?"

"Must have. Once or twice, so?"

"And are you aware that drugs are against the law?"

"Me and the law, we don't go together." I said, trying to keep the old Rose's attitude the same. I've lost everything; I might as well try to keep myself from now on.

"Since you're tests didn't show as much of traces as your boyfriend's," She tapped the end of her pen against her notepad. "We believe that you can change. And we are willing to let you have another chance." She stopped, analysing my response but I stayed unreadable and silent so she continued, "We're going to take you into rehab Miss Hathaway to St. Vladimir's. Ever heard of it?"

"Rehab yes." I nodded, crossing the options off with my fingers. "The other- whatever it was called, no."

Lissa cleared her throat, "It's a rehab centre designed mainly for drug and alcohol addicts and for people who have nowhere to go-"

"Rejects?"

"Mhmm," She nodded. "Drop outs for adolescents who never made it out of high school."

"So it's a school?" I tried to cock an eyebrow upward but failed like the many times before.

"Recovery centre and boarding school for people who want a fresh start. Who want a future. We provide education and treatment."

"Wait." I contemplated what she said for a long minute, "If it's a school, how am I meant to pay?"

"Oh, your fees are already covered, don't you worry." Her words caught me off guard. It couldn't be my mum obviously... I didn't have any other close relatives or friends.

So who was it that knew where I was?

And who was it that seems to care enough to give me a second chance?

"Who?" I asked, a frown caressing my brows. "Who paid for me?"

"They asked for their name and identity to be confidential-"

"Then how do you know they aren't a fraud?" I challenged.

"We trust him." So it was a man that crosses of my mum though she was never on the list to begin with. "He's been in business with us for many years now."

"Okay," I swallowed, my throat burning when I did. I'll draw it out of her one day but for now, I just had to play along.

I'd got myself in this mess and I will find a way to get out no matter what the consequences where.

* * *

They released me from the hospital a week or two later. Most of my wounds had healed leaving dark purple bruises on my skin. My insides were still working, I prayed, but my ribs were still fragile so I was advised to 'take it easy' by Nurse Barbie.

I'd actually come to like that female, Lissa. She was alright, cool almost. She'd lost her whole family in a tragic car accident leaving her with her uncle but there was a problem, her uncle was sick too. He suffered from a rare disease, one that could not be cured, making him as useful as someone who was dead.

I walked out of the hospital doors, relishing the warm feel of the sun on my skin. Oh God I missed this.

"Shit." I muttered, closing my eyes and tilting my head up to the sky.

Lissa turned, her tone alarmed. "What? What happened?"

I opened one eye, looking at her from the corner of it. "You don't have any idea how damn good this feels."

"I think I might. She smiled, clearing her throat. "So, are you ready?"

"For what," I opened my eyes and turned to face her. For the first time, I noticed _it. _It stood tall and high like a château built of dark brown bricks. There were towers probably dorms on the side and front overlooking the garden. There were metal bars on the windows obviously to stop anyone for running for it.

Shit. What had I gotten myself into?

"Rehab." The corner of Lissa's lips curved to the side. "Welcome to St. Vladimir's, Rose."

* * *

**A/N:**

Worth continuing?

Leave a review and let me know.


	2. Chapter 2

****Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA****

**A/N: **Thank you all for your lovely reviews! I'm keeping the raiting at T for now but will warn you guys for any M chapters :-)

***Warning: Context may include drug and sexual references as well as strong explicit language.***

* * *

I couldn't control it. It was almost like my feet were controlling me- my whole body, forcing me to run through the woods at a speed that made my muscles scream in agony.

I was being chased; I could hear their heavy food steeps pressing down on the dirt behind me. I couldn't look back to see who it was because if I did I would fall and possibly break a bone or two. I had to focus on where I was going- wherever that was. All I knew was that I had to keep running.

Caught in up in my thoughts, I tripped over a branch that lay in front of me, falling down into a thick, bed of autumn leaves. I braced my hands in front of me to break my fall.

Blinking, I tried to sit up but the world seemed to spinning in front of my eyes. Vibrant crimson and golden leaves fell to forest ground around me. The air was cool and damp, gentle when it blew. Luckily, I had a coat on for warmth.

Just as my eyes adjusted, he collided into me, pushing me to the dirt covered ground. His laughter boomed through the air, rich and husky. His arms were on me, holding me to him as if he was trying to warm me up with his presence. It was working.

I started laughing on accord with him for no reason. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks causing it to flush. I guess laughter is contagious after all.

"Caught you." He stated, straightening up above me. His blond hair appeared a rich bronze colour under the autumn sun. His eyes as blue as a cloudless summer sky.

I rolled my eyes, pressing my glove covered arms to his chest, "Think we worked that out, Mr obvious." He choked out something that sounded like a laugh in response.

Those eyes locked with mine, burning with too many emotions that I couldn't possibly count them all. Jesse reached out, untangling a dead leaf from around a strand of my hair before leaning in slowly, softly pressing his lips to mine.

It was like a spark. Like a fire had started inside of me.

My body felt warm all over, my skin burning with the softest tingles. It was like my insides were melting against his touch almost like I was giving into him.

His lips moved softly against mine, unsure and resistant. Jesse had kissed other girls and only an idiot wouldn't know that. I'd seen him with girls who looked anorexic and like they were made of plastic. I'd seen him with them at school, out of school and in my dreams. I'd never been one of those girls that has their head in the clouds because of a guy and who will travel to the ends of the world to make him theirs. But with Jesse curiously got the better of me. I always wondered what it would take just for him to glance my way.

I was a brunette with matching eyes and a slightly tanned skin tone. I had a mind of my own, never surrendering myself to what anyone else thinks or says. I was different to the girls Jesse was into and yet here he was kissing me so passionately, holding me so delicately like I was made out of glass.

When he pulled away, he simply just gazed down at me, looking at me as if I was some kind of mirage that would just slip away from his grasp. My stomach did small flips over and over again, my whole body shaking with excitement.

Jesse lowered his body, leaning in again so close that-

I woke with a start. My heart pounded in my chest, my breaths short and heavy. Sweat dampened my forehead and the nape of my neck, running down to my back. Shakily, I sat up, the rough, cotton sheets falling down from around me. The vision of his face kept coming back to me; just the thought of his name punctured a hole in my heart.

I read somewhere that if a ghost has a strong bond to someone, they cling to them and use them as their only connection to the Earth. It's not always that a ghost goes straight to the other side. Some stay if they have a mission to fulfil whether it is to warn a loved one or some are a lost case and just haven't realised that they're dead.

I really hoped that this wasn't the case with Jesse. It would kill me.

Why couldn't he just have lost an arm or leg rather than his life that night?

We were just starting to figure things out, our lives, who we are, where our relationship stood and reality just had to take him from me with no warning what-so-ever. Without Jesse, I was alone. I had no friends let alone family left. I guess, Mia would count as friend but she was miles away and clueless about what had happened.

Right now, I wanted to scream and kick and curse out loud at myself for dreaming of him. Dreaming of that moment. Our first kiss. I cursed myself for making myself hope he was still here.

I suddenly felt hot like there wasn't enough oxygen in the room. Sweat clung to every part of me making me feel plain yuck and sticky all over. I had to get out of here.

I got off the bed, the mattress dipping down as I did. The soles of my feet scraped against the bare wooden floorboards as I headed towards the only source to the outside world. My window.

I slipped my hand between those wide, ugly black bars in hope of finding a latch to that would open the window. A silver string from one cobweb stuck to the back of my hand as my skin brushed against it. I drew my hand back, shaking it off.

Shit, every hope I had in me that I'd never make it out melted. This place was like a prison. Even the corners of the furniture in the room were rounded so the edges wouldn't hurt you. There were no sharp items at all in this room. You would just have to die slowly rather than painfully.

I couldn't stand the feeling of being trapped. I pulled open my door and stepped out into the cool air of one of the hundred corridors at St. Vladimir's. It was like boarding school all over again. Everything was prim and proper, not a trace of dust anywhere.

Marching down the hall, I kept trying to shake the feeling that I was being watched off.

"You're not allowed out after curfew, Miss." A guy's voice caught me off guard. He stood guarding the end of the hall, looking down at me like I was child who did something she wasn't meant to. The guard was obviously not trying to hide the fact that he was trying to be intimidating.

I crossed my arms across my chest, "What is this? Middle school?"

"Rules are rules, Miss. I suggested you head back to your dorm." He said, stepping in front of me to block me view.

"Well you know what?" I stepped forward, trying to push past that hulk of a body of his. "I don't give a shit."

He took a step forward, pushing me back. "I suggest you head back to your dorm, Miss."

"And I suggest you get out my way." I fired back.

"Have it your way." He grabbed my shoulder trying to force me backward. I flung an arm around his neck and mustered all my strength to crack it to the side; just enough to knock him out not send him to his death bed. His body went still, his pale golden eyes fogging up.

I let him go, his body slipping down to ground. It was only a while before he regained consciousness but for now, I had to get the hell out of here.

* * *

I'd never been one for the 'be one with nature' crap but now I relished the feel of the cool air on my skin. I relished the feel of being free even though I was a trapped as a person could get. Looking up, I gazed at the starless sky, realising that I hadn't cried yet.

I hadn't cried about what had happened, about losing everything and about Jesse. I don't know whether that makes me a bad person for not. All I felt was numbness, not hurt, not pain, not even sorrow. Just hollowness that struck right through me.

Footsteps echoed behind me and for a moment I let myself believe that it could just be Jesse before I splashed myself with reality and hurried behind one of the tall hedges. Who knows what kind of shit I could be in if I was caught.

I could hear a man and woman. I don't know if they were arguing or reasoning.

"I swear it, the baby's yours." The woman seemed to be pleading.

The man let out a wistful sigh, "I just don't know, Tasha-"

"Just hear me out, Dimka!" Dimka? What kind of name is that? I leaned in, trying to listening in closer. "I have not been with any other man, this baby is yours. Ours."

The man groaned like someone who'd just been defeated in battle, "I can't do this, Tasha." I could hear muffled footsteps making their way to this direction.

"Don't walk away! Not now... not after all of this." The lady, whom I guessed was Tasha, raised her voice, "Just believe me, Dim-"

"Shit." I cursed under my breath, slipping on the gravel under my feet. My body leaned sideways into the thick bushes, thorns grazing my skin as I tried to regain my balance. The leaves rustled and they stopped talking.

"What was that?" The man asked. I could hear his footsteps starting to make their way in this direction.

I held my breath, knowing there was no way I was going to make it out of this with all my limbs intact. Gulping, I closed my eyes as he got closer.

"It was probably an animal." The lady said, making those footsteps stop where they were.

I opened an eye and tried to peer through the leaves to get a glimpse of them but the leaves were too thick. I couldn't see a thing.

"Are you sure?" The man's voice was hesitant.

"Don't you trust me anymore?" The lady challenged.

The man sighed, "I do-"

"Come to my room with me." She kept her voice low as if she was trying to seduce him. "We can..._talk_ this out."

I wanted to snort at the words she used but swallowed my urge to, waiting for their footsteps to disappear into the night before I turned back and headed into the cages of hell.

* * *

STAN ALTO were the words that were scribbled with white chalk on the chalk board.

I sat at the desk closest to the back, watching the room crowd with people and chatter around me. The desks here had enough to seat two but it seemed like there were enough seats for everyone- for now at least.

_Spoke to soon. _I thought just as a boy walked up to where I sat.

"Mind if I sit here?" His eyes were a pale shade of icy blue. His black hair was messed up like he'd just woken up. He was dressed in black just like the 'bad boys' do in movies. To be honest, he was quite attractive- not that I was interested or anything.

I shook my head and he smiled a response, taking the seat beside me. I couldn't help but let my gaze linger on him, trying to figure out what he did he do to land in the prison for freaks.

"Christian Ozera, huh?" I finally said, reading the words scribbled carelessly on the top corner of his book.

He looked at me; the look in eyes was so pure and honest. "Girl I don't know."

"Rose." I held out my hand and he shook it. Well, I was going to be here for a while so it wouldn't hurt to meet some people. "Hathaway."

The ends of his lips curved up to a form a small boyish smile.

"So what is this?" I asked. We each got a timetable with a room number on it, something Lissa forgot to explain. It seemed like a timetable to me meaning that the room numbers indicated the room for a class. "Please don't tell me we're learning our ABCD's."

"Worse." Christian smirked, "We're learning to find ourselves."

I frowned.

He cleared his throat, "Obviously, you've done something to land yourself in this dump, right?"

I nodded. "I didn't plan for it though."

"No one plans for these things. It just happens, you know." His tone turned serious, those eyes locking with mine. "And anyway, they don't give a shit. All they care about is helping us find our way back to who we truly are."

"That's fucked up." I said.

Christian rolled his eyes, "You can say that again."

Now I really wondered what this Christian guy had done to land in this place. He just seemed so young and sincere. Curiosity got the best of me, "What about you?" I paused, "What are you here for? You just don't seem like the type."

"There's a type?" he glanced at me from the corner of his eyes.

I threw my hands up, "You know what I mean."

He grinned, placing his pen gently down on the table and turned to face me. "What? A freak?"

I shrugged, "You just don't strike me as one."

"That's what everyone here thinks though." He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "My aunt shoved me in this place. I wasn't really given a choice for it. I mean, I burned down my house a few years back and-"

"Whoa! Slow down there, Fire boy." I gaped at him. "Don't tell me you're serious."

Christian looked down, seeming almost ashamed. "My parents died that night, all our belongings burned to the ground. Some friends and I were just mucking around with some fireworks for a show coming up and the moment I struck the match, everything ignited."

I stared at him for a long second, pondering whether what he said was true. Hesitating, I touched my hand to his shoulder, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't mean it-"

"But it was stupid, Rose." He argued, "See, it's not the fact that my friends ran for it before I lit it. It's the fact that I was the one who volunteered to light it. I was the cause for my parent's death and there's not one moment in the day that I don't think about it..." he let sentence trail. There was something about this guy- his story that made me feel almost sorry for him. I mean, taking apart the fact that his actions were plain dumb, it hurt to think that the death of his parents were caused by their own son even if he didn't mean it.

Sympathy wasn't something I was an expert at handing out but something in me made me hand it to him.

I looked at him, crossing my arms over each other before placing my hands on the desk. "If it helps, I tried to light my ex-boyfriend's car on fire once."

"You didn't." This time Christian looked taken back.

I laughed, remembering the guy from freshmen year. "He was douche. And we lasted only a week."

"Makes sense but still doesn't prove that I'm the crazier one."

"Really?" I sat up in my chair, accepting his challenge. "Well... In the last week, I've lost my job as a dancer in a strip club, been in a car crash, seen my boyfriend die as a result of it and now am having dreams and visions about him. And I have this feeling that he's watching me right now."

"You're feeling he's haunting you?" Christian asked.

"Mhmm." I nodded.

He held his hands up in surrender, "I take it back; you're obviously the crazier one."

I flashed him my man eater smile, "Told you so, Fire boy."

"Stop calling me that!" he shook his head as if the words were some sort of infection he was trying to shake off.

I winked, "It sticks, Pyro."

The rest of the lesson spelt out the word 'uneventful' in capital letters. Stan turned out to be a total ass– and a gay one of that if I'm not mistaken. Let's just say, he didn't take it light to my comments.

I grabbed a plate from the cafeteria while Christian waited before he led me to one of the long tables. He took a seat next to me, waving over to a few guys coming in.

One of the guys had sandy-blond hair that fell softly over his forehead till it just touched his brow. The other had silvery blue eyes, red hair with light freckles spread across his nose to complete the look.

"Eddie." Christian announced, pointing to the guy with the blond hair that took the seat opposite us. "And Mason." He then looked at the guy with bright crimson hair.

Eddie gave a small wave and Mason smiled a smile that said 'let's be more than friends' as a welcome.

"Rose," I said, unable to think of anything else.

"You're the new girl!" Eddie exclaimed, slapping his hands against his thighs. "Damn."

"What?" my brows creased together.

The guy called Mason laughed, "They weren't kidding when they said you were a keeper."

I frowned, pondering whether that was a compliment or some kind of code word that said I'd be good in the bedroom.

Eddie cleared his throat in a poor attempt to break the layer of awkwardness that had built up, "Well it's good to meet you, Rose." He looked at me and then back at Christian. "Christian come with me, I'm beat."

Christian followed without a flaw, nodding before getting up from his seat. "We'll be back." He said, more to me than Mason.

I kept my gaze down, picking at the food on my tray. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to Mason or anything, it was just that it seemed that he had more than friendship on his mind when he looked at me. Normally, I'd feel honoured that a guy had his eyes on me but right now was too soon and too fast.

"So, um, you're Christian's friend?" Mason asked, breaking the silence that spread like butter between us.

I nodded, trying to keep my focus on my meal. "Yeah we have... class together."

"Oh." He sounded surprised, "Which one?"

I wasn't sure what to call it so I said, "The one with Stan. Stan Alto, I don't know if you know him-"

Mason snorted, "Everyone knows that gay ass." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So he is gay." It came out more as a statement than a question.

"No one knows." Mason laughed. "He's a dick either way. Gay or not." I smiled, playing with a piece of meat on my plate with my fork.

I could feel his eyes rest on me, watching me like I was some sort of foreign species unknown to mankind. Mason reached out, gently placing his hand over mine. I gulped, resisting the urge to pull my hand back. "I heard." He whispered.

I looked up, confusion dawning on me. "What?"

"About the accident." Those hazel eyes locked with mine, "About how you survived. I think it's amazing that you did." He smiled and leaned in.

I drew my hand back, pulling away, "Stop it."

"What?" I looked up catching the frown that creased his brows.

"Hitting on me."

"Who said anything-"Mason's reply got cut short.

"Dude, she has a boyfriend." Eddie said, startling both of us. He put his tray down on the table, reclaiming his spot.

"He's dead." I said before realising I did. They all looked at me; they're expression surprised at the sharpness of my tone. "I mean, he died a week ago. In the car crash."

"Yeah," Christian pipped in, "And now he's haunting her ass."

"Really?" Eddie asked, leaning in closer as if we were exchanging top secret information.

I shrugged, "I just keep seeing visions and hearing him say stuff like he was still here."

"Maybe he wants to warn or you something." Mason suggested, "That's why ghosts usually hang around, right?" he stopped before quickly adding, "Not that I believe in them or anything."

"You think so?" I looked at him for the first time in minutes.

"Look, Rose." Eddie said, "I don't know much about this kind of stuff but if it continues, you should really see someone."

"I'm not crazy." I said quickly.

"And I never said you were but it could be something from the accident that triggered this." Eddie said, tapping his fingers against the table.

"It could." Mason agreed, "But it never hurts to believe."

I clung on to those words for the remainder of lunch, wondering what he truly meant by that.

* * *

"You're fine." Lissa said, turning the torch off and walking back to place it on the silver tray by her desk.

I closed my eyes and sighed, "So, I'm cured?"

"Depends," She turned around, leaning her back against her desk. Her blond hair was braided back into a long, single braid that was held in place with three marron bands. "You're not feeling any more pain in your ribs are you?"

"Um," I thought about it before answering, "It's much better than before."

"Good." She smiled, seeming younger when she did. "But take these." She reached out to hand me a plastic tube of pills. "Just in case."

It was my regular check up appointment. I was told to come here in the first day of starting then visit every week just to see that my bones were healing okay and I was holding up.

I got down from the patients bed, sliding my shoes on. "Thanks." I took a moment to study her room. It was painted a pale beige colour and picture frames and words of inspiration talking up most of the wall space. A desk was pushed back into the corner, mugs of every colour and a small laptop on it. There was a small cabinet right beside the desk that had a sticker that said 'records' plastered on the front of it.

After spending a week in the hospital being nursed to health by her, I realised just how comfortable I felt around her. There was just something about her personality and charm that was so likeable.

It honestly felt like she was someone I could talk to or go too. A friend. And I think she realised that too when she told me about herself, about her family, the pain she felt from losing them so tragically. It was foreign feeling but wasn't something I would complain about.

"So, how was your day?" Lissa asked as she packed away a few files into the cabinet. She was dressed in her short, white, nurse's uniform with a black cardigan draped over her shoulders.

"It was good." I said truthfully, bringing my attention back. "Met a few people."

Lissa used all the strength she could muster to shove another file into the cabinet before she turned around to flash me her signature smile. "Who?"

I shrugged, "A few guys. Christian-"

"Ozera?" Her face lit up like a candle that was sparked in a dark room.

"Yeah."

A small blush crept to her cheeks that made me wonder whether they knew each other on first name basis. "How is he?"

"A total psychopath."

She laughed, "So he told you his story then." She didn't wait for me to say anything, instead continued, "Poor guy. He's been through so much pain and suffering, losing his family and all."

I tried to jog my memory, trying to recall any moments when Christian even mentioned Lissa. It was blank. The only way I was going to get information was to ask.

I cleared my throat, "You guys friends?"

Lissa looked down at the small, pasty coloured ballet flats she wore. She twisted uncomfortably, her braid swaying when she did. "Yeah, we're friends I guess."

I tried to cock an eyebrow up but that only resulted in both my eyebrows being lifted at the same time. I really had to practise doing that.

"It doesn't matter," she sighed wholeheartedly, twisting a piece of thread between her fingers. We stood in silence for a long minute, both of us wondering who should make the move next.

I used this opportunity to ask, "Hey, Liss, do you know a lady called Tasha."

Her name had been bothering me the whole day like an irritating itch that wouldn't go away.

"Tasha?" Lissa shifted her gaze up from her feet to my face, looking taken back from my question. "Tasha Ozera, you mean?"

I frowned, taking in the new piece of information. "Ozera? She and Christian are related?"

"That's the only Tasha I know." Lissa answered, rubbing her hands down her arms. "Why do you ask?"

I shook my head and shrugged. There was something off about this Tasha. Christian said that he'd lost all his family to flames that night except... his aunt who forced this school upon him. Could it be?

I made a mental note to ask him about that for the next time we'd meet but for now, I just needed to keep it low.

I looked at Lissa, my thoughts gushing through my mind at a hundred miles. "I got to go meet up with someone." I made up, "I'll see you later?"

"Sure thing." Lissa said, a small smile edged at the corner of her lips and curiosity dawned in her jade green eyes. "You take care, Rose."

I waved a small goodbye before turning around. I walked out of the clinic, shuddering slightly at the sudden burst of cold air that engulfed me. Curiosity bubbled through my veins.

Could it be that the Tasha from last night was Christian's aunt? And who was this Dimka guy she was talking to? Most of all, if Tasha was lying about him being the father to her baby, the question that loomed was why was she doing it?

It was almost like she was pulling the guy Dimka along like a dog on a lead. Just the thought of it was sickening.

Caught up in my thoughts, I didn't even notice the figure looming in front of me. I slipped over my own feet, colliding head first with the person. My body jolted, all my feelings and senses coming alive and on alert. My head span, my heart running in overdrive.

"Hold shit." I breathed, trying to refocus myself. Through my eyes the world was spinning in blur. I blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust my gaze. Through the haze, I could just make out by the strong, lean frame that it was a man.

Under the moonlight, his eyes seemed a rich shade of chocolate. His hair fell to his shoulders, appearing as a softer shade of brown when compared to mine. His cheekbones were high and razor sharp, his eyes a perfect symmetry to each other. His lips looked so soft and full that I couldn't help but image how they would feel against mine.

His frame was well built, purely muscular and masculine, making him appear nearly ten inches taller than me.

Beautiful would be an understatement when it came to describing this man.

"Sorry." He apologized, apart from the fact that his voice was deep and rich melting ober me like chocolate, it was familiar like I'd heard it before.

"No, no." I shook my head, realising that his hands were on my hips, holding my steady. "It's my fault; I should have watched where I was going."

The man smiled a smile that made my knees feel like they were going to buckle under me. He moved his hands from my hips, letting me go, but not without checking that I was still upright first.

Our eyes locked together, my body getting all tingly at the way he was watching me. My heart pounded in my chest, my palms dampening with sweat just like they did when Jesse first told me that he loved me.

"I'm Rose." I said, my words shaking. "Rose Hathaway."

"Dimitri." He said, holding out his hand. "Dimitri Belikov."

* * *

**A/N:** Still worth going?


	3. Chapter 3

****Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA****

**A/N: **Sorry if this chapter is a little 'scrappy'. It was rushed written since things have just been busy with school and all. Enjoy! :-)

**irene77: **The chapter after this might answer your question.

***Warning: Context may include drug and sexual references as well as strong explicit language.***

* * *

"Self defence?" My jaw dropped open.

"You got a problem with that?" Dimitri asked, not even bothering up to look up and face me. His words were laced with a strong hint of a Russian accent.

I choked on a small laugh, "Thanks but I can handle myself just fine."

That got a smile out of him. He looked up, strands of brown hair falling over those mystifying chocolate eyes of his. "You sure of that?" he challenged, a small smirk played on the ends of his lips.

He wore his hair back in a small pony tail to finish his look that consisted of black tracks that rode low on his hips, showing me some parts of his skin that turned my insides to goo. He left his chest bare probably to show off his six pack.

His skin was tanned and tiny droplets of sweat rolled down his neck. He had a white towel draped around his shoulders making him look like one of them master ninja trainers in movies.

It would be sin to mention the thoughts that went through my mind when I looked at that body of his.

I placed my hands on my hips. "Do you doubt me?"

He straightened up, the muscles in his biceps flexed and tightened. Dimitri took a step forward to close the gap between us. "Hit me."

I frowned, "Sorry?"

"Hit me." He repeated, shrugging his shoulders casually. "Since you think you're so tough, Ms Hathaway, let's see what you got."

I accepted his challenge. This was going to be easy.

I raised my arm to throw a punch at his chest but he caught it halfway, twisting it around and pulling me to him so that my back was pressed against his chest.

I gasped at the feeling of his body so close to mine. Heat radiated of him and it prickled at my skin. I swear it was possible that I would melt with his presence this close. The musty smell of his aftershave clouded the atmosphere. And damn, it smelt good. So good.

"Too predictable." He said, finally letting me go. I shuddered at the sudden breath of cold air around me. "You need to be the opposite. Agile but..."

"But what?"

"You're weak." Those words were blow, knocking all the air out of me.

"Sorry?" I tried to raise a brow but probably ended up looking more of a fool in front of him. "What did you just say?" No one had ever called me that before. I was a strong person. I didn't need to be nurtured. I could do it by myself just as I have been for seventeen years.

He sighed out aloud almost dramatically, "You need to strengthen your body."

"Huh?"

"Basic stance of self defence." He announced, taking a step to the side. "Stand here." Hesitating, I stepped forward to the place he was standing on just seconds ago. "Don't hunch. You need to keep a straight frame at all costs."

I straightened my shoulders. Something about this man was almost intimidating. Something about him made my skin crawl and prickle- probably in fear more than anything.

"One leg slightly in front of the other." He continued firing the instructions.

I'd humiliated myself enough for one day so I did as he said.

"Good." Dimitri walked around me, assessing me as if I was something about to go on sale. I wondered how I would scale.

I cleared my throat, keeping my gaze fixed on the wall in front of me. "Did I qualify?"

"Let's see." Suddenly his hand came flying at me. I ducked, narrowly escaping his punch.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. My heart beat doubled in pace, shock shooting through my veins.

"Fight back." He said, trying to strike a punch to my abdomen. I stepped aside.

I struck my foot out in vain attempt to trip him but his reflexes were swift. He took a step back, lifting his leg till it struck the side of my waist. I tripped, stumbling over my own feet. I fell back to the ground with a slight 'oomph'.

Pain hit me on the side of body, just inches up from my hip bone. Shit, this guy could kick.

I groaned, "Shit." I could only pray that my organs were still intact.

He crouched in front of me, his face was just inches from mine. Those brown eyes turned from fierce to warm and gentle. It took all my strength to resist the urge to wipe that strand of hair away from his eyes. "You okay?"

I gasped, trying to catch my breath. My heart pounded so fast in my chest that it almost hurt. "Been better," This man was going to pay so bad if my ribs had broken again. I rather die than spend another weak in that hospital.

Dimitri raised an eyebrow so flawlessly that if I wasn't in pain, I'd be jealous.

He helped me up, placing his arm around my waist. I wobbled slightly to side, trying to regain grip with gravity. He didn't let me go until I found it.

"Thanks." I breathed, still a little shaken. "Guess you won."

"Just showing you what a little bit of hard work can do." He shrugged, the muscles in his shoulders rippled.

We stayed silent for a moment. It wasn't the awkward sort. It was comfortable like we didn't need words to express ourselves.

"Our time's up." Dimitri cleared his throat, breaking the mood. "Let me know if you change your mind."

I furrowed my brows together, "I didn't know I had made up my mind yet."

He raised an eyebrow.

"How do you that?" I blurted, unable to stop myself.

"Do what?" I held in a laugh at his attempt to keep his expression innocent.

"This." I tried to move my eyebrow up in the way he did.

A smile crept on his face, "I'll make a deal with you. If you let me train you then I'll teach you how to do that."

It wasn't much of deal but I had scored myself a ticket to fulfilling my lifelong wish and quality time with the Russian God.

I nodded, holding my hand out for him to shake it, "You have a deal."

* * *

I huffed out loud, flopping back on my bed. The mattress dipped, cotton sheets rubbing against my back. Every bone in my body was crying in agony after the drills Dimitri put me through.

"Careful!" Lissa yelled, reaching out to hold onto her bottles of nail polish as if it would be the end of her life if they spilt. She sat on my bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and cotton between each of her toes.

I looked up at the ceiling, the events of the day spiralled through my mind. "Do you think it's weird, Liss?"

"What?"

"That he specifically asked for separate private classes for me."

"Maybe..." She trailed as she used a brush to swipe some hot pink polish on her nails.

My brows creased together when she didn't complete her sentence, "Maybe what?"

"He thinks you've got the potential."

"To what? Kick someone's ass?" I snorted.

She looked at me, her jade eyes bright under the golden light of my room. "Not exactly what I was going for but okay."

I let out a breath as I used whatever strength I had in me to sit up. Crossing my legs over each other, I reached out and grabbed a bottle of nail varnish. "He just... get's on my nerves, you know?" I dangled the bottle between two of my fingers, "I feel like a total idiot in front of him especially after the first impression I made."

"I'm sure you weren't that bad." Lissa said, her voice was soft and gentle like a feather of an angel.

I looked at her pointedly, "The first word's I said to him were 'holy shit'. I don't think it counts."

"At least you made an impression" she shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't seem to stop thinking of Dimitri and his oh-so-godly looks and that husky Russian accent. Something about him was so attracting like he was a magnet pulling the world to him.

"I'm going down to see my uncle this weekend." Lissa said, drawing me away from my thoughts. "Would you like to come?"

I shifted my gaze up to meet hers, "Can I?"

"You should." She said, "We'll need to take a supervisor to get us there but from then on we should be all good."

"Supervisor as in..." I let it trail.

"Someone in Dimitri's range." She said, finally closing the lid on the bottle. She looked up, her French braid swaying ever so lightly to the side when she did. "A supervisor is someone who works here and is a qualified adult. We need them if we ever have the need to go out of the Centre."

"But we are adults-"

She cut me off, "We're seventeen, Rose."

"But you should be good, right?" I asked, keeping the crease between my brows. "You work here. Shouldn't that count?"

"Technically." She sighed thoughtfully, "But I'm underage so no."

Great. So the Russian God had to come. He gets to me as much as it is now, I don't think I could survive a whole weekend with him.

"We can always find someone else," Lissa said as if she could read my thoughts. "And you can bring some of your friends along." She paused, "If you like."

It made me smile that the 'friends' she was talking about was mainly implied about Christian. I seized this opportunity to ask, "What's deal with you and Ozera?"

She frowned, "Ozera?"

"Christian."

"Oh," her shoulders slumped, "We're friends I guess." I used my eyes to urge her on. She laughed, "He's a great guy. Really great."

"So have you told him yet?" I asked.

"Told him what?"

"That you like him." I rolled my eyes.

She looked taken aback my remark. She crossed her arms over her chest, "I do not-"

"Lissa." I swallowed, "You like him. Just admit it."

A warm glow crept up to her cheeks, those jade eyes turning shy. She looked down at my sheets like they were the most fascinating thing she'd ever laid eyes on. "I don't know, Rose."

I crawled up the matters so I was sitting beside her. I draped an arm over her should, giving them an encouraging squeeze. "There's no law against it. Just tell him."

She laid her head on my shoulder, staring at her freshly painted toe nails. "There is a law- rule..." she sighed, "Technically, a teacher or worker here can't have a relationship with students. The consequences are unimaginable." She squeezed her eyes shut, "But it doesn't apply to us, seeing that I'm not yet an adult and neither is... Christian. So the same rules don't apply."

Something about what she said sparked something within me and the craziest thought went through my mind. Could Dimitri and I ever have a relationship that extended past friendship?

The thought was exciting and almost frightening. But she did say that the consequences for him more than me are unimaginable. I wondered what-

A knock on the door steered us away from our day dreams. Lissa's eyes fluttered open.

"It's open." I called out, letting my arm drop from around Lissa's shoulders.

The door opened with a creek. Christian stepped into the light, his dark hair falling over his forehead.

"Speak of the devil." I muttered under my breath. Lissa shot me a side long look.

"Lissa." He breathed, a small smile crawling up to his lips.

_Thanks._ I thought. _Just ignore me._

"Christian." Lissa acknowledged him. Her eyes were lit up like the lights on a Christmas tree. They flickered so many emotions it was impossible to put a finger on just one.

"How are you?" he asked, shoving hands into his back pockets. I swear he's wore the same pair of jeans for the past week now.

"I'm okay." She said, her facing warming with colour. "We were- I was- actually planning to go down and visit my uncle this weekend. Would you like to come?"

Christian looked down at the undid laces of his shoes, pondering what she just said. After a moment, he looked up with his typical smirk plastered on his lips. "Sure."

"Cool." Lissa replied. I could hear her heartbeat from here.

An awkward sort of silence fell of us. No one sure of what to say. I couldn't help but think of how many silences just like this Jesse and I shared.

"I got to go." Lissa said, breaking it much to both Christian and my relief. "But I'll see you guys this weekend?" she looked at Christian when she asked.

It was like I was completely invisible to them. Not that I minded. It was kind of sweet, actually, and reminded me of Jesse and me. When we were together the whole world could be falling apart and it didn't matter. I had him and that's all I ever needed.

Christian nodded, brushing his hands on jeans. "It's a date."

I know it maybe inhumanly impossible but Lissa's eyes were wide as the eyes of a Disney character at this moment.

She got up, her white summer dress falling down to her knees as she did. She leaned down to grab her bag of the floor, hastily stuffing the bottles of nail varnish in it.

I shifted my gaze to Christian.

The way he watched her, like she too good to believe, took my breath away. No guy had ever looked at me like that. Not even Jesse. Once they saw my face, their eyes fell straight to my chest. It was more than frustrating- being liked only for the body I had. But it was all I had.

"Oh." Lissa's said, "I am almost forgot." She reached into her pack, rummaging inside for a second before pulling out a silver object. "This is for you." She held it out to me.

It was phone. Not the high tech kind, just a simple one with buttons that stuck out.

I blinked, "Sorry?"

She bit down on her bottom lip. "It's for you. Tell me if you have any problems with it and I'll send it for repair-"

Realising what she said, I jumped of my bed before I could control myself and threw my arms around her.

"You're amazing, Lissa." I said, finally pulling away. I could finally talk to Mia and tell her everything. This stupid cage had no sense of communication to the world outside and I was too stupid not to ask anyone here if they owned a phone. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Rose." She smiled that angel smile, "I thought you could use after the... After all that has happened."

I pulled her in for another hug. She was too good to believe at times.

After a few minutes Lissa left with Christian. He'd volunteered to 'escort' her to her room.

I said on my bed, still awestruck at the contraption in my hand. I quickly punched in Mia's number, nibbling my lip in anticipation as the ringing tone went on. It stopped.

"Hello?" Her voice came through the line.

"Mia!" I said, hugging a pillow tight to my chest. "It's me Rose."

The line was silent for a long minute before her voice boomed back through the line, "Where the fuck have you been, Rose? Shit." I almost could imagine her clamping her hand to her forehead, "We were worried sick when you didn't return."

I held the phone slightly away from my ear, "We came to an accident... Jesse," I paused, tears stinging my eyes. "He didn't make it." I choked.

"What?" She gasped, "What are you saying, Rose?"

I took in a lungful of oxygen, "Jesse's dead. That night when we left, we came into a car crash."

"Shit." She said, "That son of a bitch. Wasn't his eyes on the road?"

It didn't surprise me that that was her reaction. One thing I'd learned over the past few years was that Mia wasn't really one for sympathy.

I shook my head even though it made no difference, "We got into an argument... The car swerved and everything went black." I closed my eyes, remembering the feeling adrenaline pumping through my veins.

I remember, the feeling of the car slipping from his grasp and sliding. I remember the blood on his face. I remember that moment when the headlights of the truck beamed at us. I couldn't speak. I couldn't save him. Maybe it was my fault he was dead.

"Are you okay? Where are you?" her tone turned worried.

"Some place called St. Vladimir's. It's a rehab centre-"

"We have to meet." This time it was her voice that shook. "I have to tell you something."

* * *

I kicked the rock with the front of my shoe. It rolled to the side, falling straight into the drain. I could feel the presence of my supervisor on me, watching me as if I was going to make a run for it any second. I could also feel another presence more haunting than his. It was Jesse's.

The thing with Jesse's so called ghost presence didn't subside. It still pricked at my skin making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Eddie and Mason have been trying to research into it. So far they were stuck on the crazy idea that he was here to warn me. About what? We don't know.

Mason turned out to be a great guy- when he wasn't drooling over the thought of me naked. And Eddie was quite a smart. He was tough and protective but he was sweet. He was the kind any girl would kill to have.

My gaze shot up, noticing her silhouette in the distance. I stood up on my toes and waved, doubting whether she could see me. She did.

"Rose." Mia panted, reaching me. She was dressed in a short flower printed frock that fell to her knees. Her hair was pulled into an unusual high pony tail, a broad plastic band holding it place. "Am I glad to see you." She threw her arms around me, squeezing me tight and trapping me in her grasp, "Don't fucking do that to me again."

I smiled. It was a wonderful feeling knowing that someone cares about you. I just wish I had more people to feel that with.

She pulled away, her nails dug into the skin of my forearms. Her pale blue eyes were hard and serious. "Rose, what you said about him_... _Jesse, was it true?"

A lump rose in my throat at the sound of his name. I nodded, the same tingling feeling clawing at my skin. I shivered, "Yeah. He's..." I let my sentence trail, unable to finish it in front of her.

"What happened?" her voice was low and cautious. "You said you got into an argument."

"Yeah," I closed my eyes, "It was about us. I really thought, we had it figured out but now it's too late to ever know. He's gone."

"Oh baby doll, you know he's not really gone. He's there in your heart-"

"That's crap."

"It won't be if you believe." Her tone turned sharp. We stood in silence for a minute taking in each other. It might have been only a few weeks but it felt like years had separated us. Now that we stood close, I could see the tiredness on her pale face. Dark rings hung below her eyes, her face lined with creases indicating her tiredness. It wasn't a good look on her.

"What about you? How are you?" I asked.

"Been better," She sighed. "Work's tough without you but I'm holding out." She was hiding something, I could sense it.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

She looked down, studding her sandals. She was quite for her minute before her gaze shifted to meet mine. Her voice was faint, "I'm pregnant."

"What?" My jaw fell open, my heart missing a beat.

The look in her baby blue eyes was so serious that it scared me.

"Does Aaron know?" I asked as gently as I could. Aaron was Mia's boyfriend for more than a year now. The guy was literally head over heels for the girl.

"He bailed." Small tear drops escaped the side of her eyes. She sniffed, "I told him and he- he bailed. Just like that. He got in the car and drove away and that's the last I saw of him."

"Did you call him?"

She shook her head, "I'm scared, Rose."

"I know." This time it was my turn to hold my arms out to her. I took her into a fierce hug, holding her with all I had. I didn't realise until now how much I'd missed her. "It's all going to okay."

She protested, choking over her words but I just held her tighter. I could feel her tears dampen the shirt I wore. The fabric stuck to my skin like the dress I'd worn that night.

When she pulled away, her eyes were puffed appearing twice their normal size. Her mascara was smudged forming dark black rings that cloned the eyes of a racoon. "Don't say it," she choked out, trying to hold back the tears, "I look like shit."

"I was going to mention it. But since you have..." I smiled, watching as she wiped away the tears with her wrist. When she calmed down a bit, I asked, "How many weeks?"

"Four. Five." She said, shrugging, "I don't know. It was that night right after you and Jesse left the casino." So it was around a month or so.

"Are you sure though-"

"I did the test three times over. I'm sure."

I sighed, racking my brain for an excuse that this wasn't happening. "Have you seen a doctor?"

She shook her head, "No one knows but you and Aaron." She drew in a long breath, "I don't think I can do this, Rose. I can't handle a baby, I'm only sixteen." The pace of her breaths picked up, "It's going to stop me from dancing, and I can't risk losing my job."

A placed a hand on his shoulder, "There are options, you know."

Her eyes widened in alarm, "I'm not giving up my baby."

"It may be the only option you have-"

"No, it's not!" She trembled as if she had hypothermia.

I placed both my hands on her arms, trying to stop her shaking. "Calm down."

"I need you, Rose." She looked at me, black streaks running down on her cheeks. Tear drops hung on the tips of her eyelashes like snowflakes. "Now more than ever. Please come back."

"I-"I looked down, "I can't, Mia."

"Why?" she pleaded, "Don't tell me you are coming to like you're new home."

"It's not my home." I shot, my tone a little too sharper that I'd intended. "It's just a really hard time for me-"

"And for me," She argued. "What do we have left? Don't you see how alike we are, Rose?"

"I know, Mia-"

"I can't lose you like I lost Aaron. You're the only one I have left. Please." The tone of her voice brought tears to my eyes, "I would do it for you."

I looked down, unable to look into those eyes anymore, "I know."

"It'll be just like before. You can have it all back. The drugs, the pleasure, the drinks. I bet they don't even let you drink there."

"It's a rehab centre." I pointed out.

She threw her hands up, "Exactly which is why I'm begging you for this, Rose. I need you."

I looked at her before shifting my gaze to my supervisor. He was sitting on the brick wall, legs crossed over each other with his sunglasses on making him so bodyguard like. If we sprinted fast enough, we just might be able to outrun him.

What she was offering might not be everything it once was but it was the life I'd longed for.

All those sleepless nights spent thinking about the musty smell of cigarettes mixed with alcohol. The adrenaline pumping through my veins. Even the smell of sex. It was my life.

Wasn't it what I wanted ever since I'd entered that Centre?

To escape?

Here's my opportunity and I was hesitating.

I could do this. I had to be there for her.

I glanced back at Mia, her crystal blue eyes still wet with tears.

"Ready?"I said, swallowing the bile in my throat. If we were caught I was sure to be in deep shit. But I had to do it. For her. "On the count of three run as fast you can. Ready?"

She nodded, a thankful smile on her face.

"One." I reached out, taking my hand in hers. "Two."

_Three. _

I turned around and ran with all I had.

* * *

**A/N:** Was it any good?

Again, sorry if it seemed rushed.


	4. Chapter 4

****Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA****

**A/N:** I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all the people who took 2 seconds of their life to leave a review! You guys are awesome! Thank you so much!

***Warning: Chapter rated M. Context includes sexual, drug and alcohol references and use of explicit language.***

* * *

I could feel it. His presence. Jesse's.

I stood in the door way, hesitating whether to open the door of our apartment. It was weird being here without him. Sort of empty.

I don't even know whether 'our apartment' was the right name for this place anymore.

Closing my eyes, I pushed open the door. It creaked open, waving out a gust of musty, cool air. Even the air smelt like him.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to witness what once was ours now so empty and desolate. But I did. Slowly, but I did. I opened my eyes.

Darkness was all I could see. I stepped in to the doorway, fumbling with the light switch on the wall. I flicked it on. The bulb on the ceiling flickered for a few seconds before coming alive. White light lit up the room.

Empty pizza crates lay stacked exactly where we'd left them weeks ago. A line of ants crawled down the kitchen counter and into a crack in the floor tiles. Plates lay piled on the side of the sink, washed and glimmering under the dim light.

The crammed living room was just like I remembered. A blanket draped over the tattered arm of the couch, a bulky old radio on the coffee table and the box TV that never did work.

Looking at this, things I'd tried to forget over the past few weeks emerged. I remembered the moment on that couch where Jesse and I had come so deadly close to doing it. That TV we abused with kicks in hope to get it past grey static stage. The door to the bed room was shut. I was glad. I don't want to remember the things that had happened there.

An unusual pain twisted at my gut. My heart hurt like somebody had ripped it out and was squeezing the life out of it in their palm.

I swallowed the urge to throw up and instead tried to remember why I was here.

What was I doing here?

I shouldn't be here. It was wrong.

It was wrong to stand in the spot where we once stood. It was wrong to be looking at the kitchen stove and remembering our failed attempts at making pancakes. It was just wrong.

My insides crawled and stomach did a few flips. My skin prickled and small bumps rode up my arms.

Maybe I was going crazy but I swear I could feel him. Feel his presence enveloping me. And at moment I'd wanted nothing more than for the feeling to seep through the cracks and melt away. Being haunted was never on my wish list in the first place.

If it was a message the presence was trying to bring, I wish it would just tell me. Show me a sign like it happens in movies. Creaking doors, shattering of glass, flickering lights, anything.

I just didn't want to think about him anymore. I want to forget him and all we were.

A vibration in my pocket brought me back. It took me a while to register what it was.

I shoved my hand into my pocket and pulled out my phone, not having time to look at the caller id. "Hello?"

"Rose?" The voice was familiar. "It's me. Lissa."

Shit.

My breath caught in my throat. "Uh," I stammered, searching for words. "Hi?"

"Where the hell are you?"

I didn't answer.

"Rose?"

I pulled the phone away from my ear. I looked at it for a long minute before pressing the 'End Call' button.

A lump of guilt rose in my throat. Of course she'd call. I knew that. So why was I so surprised when she did?

The phone buzzed again in my hand. I groaned in frustration but relaxed when Mia's name flashed onto the screen.

"Hey," I answered on its third ring.

"Rose," She gushed the words causing static to break on my end of the line, "Are you done?"

I looked around my apartment. It looked so lifeless. I came here to get the stuff I thought I'd need but now I didn't want any of it. At all. I just wanted to forget.

I nodded even though she couldn't see it, "Yes."

There was some shuffling before her voice broke back through the line, "Good." She said, "Cause' I think I know where we can find Aaron."

* * *

"And the devil returns." Ralf held up his bottle. A sly smirk played on his lips. He half lay and half sat up on the concrete with empty bottles around him. A girl lay over him, mauling kisses to his neck.

I smiled at him and then at the other people here. I didn't know them but they knew me as 'the devil' for being one bad bitch in bed, apparently, but what they didn't know was that I hadn't actually done it... Had sex that is. I wonder what they'd say about that. In their eyes I was a girl in six inch heels and an attitude. I had it all.

"Where's Jesse?" Ralf asked, shrugging the girl off. She fell back on the concrete, her elbows breaking her fall. Her silvery blue eyes and glossed lips were swollen and her pale cheeks were bruised, glowing purple. I didn't want to think of the things he'd done to her.

Mia stepped in front of me. "Don't act like you suddenly care, Sarcozy" Her voice trembled, making me wonder what had happened while I was gone.

"Mia," I whispered, hastily shifting my gaze up and down the dark alleyway. Guys sat with girls draped like leather over them. The guys assaulted the girl's lips with theirs. Their hands dug deeper and deeper down their pants. The stench of sex was in the air. It was sickening.

Jesse knew these people. All of them. He was their hero in their eyes because of dealings he did here. I wondered how they were still living without the substances in their body.

Ralf staggered up, "He hasn't been home in a while."

"He's gone." I said, pushing Mia to the side. She cursed at me, accidently tripping over her feet. "He might not be back for a while." In fact, he's never coming back. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that. Might as well let them suffocate in their own misery rather than giving them escape routes.

Ralf looked down at the tattered sneakers he wore. "Do have them then?" I didn't need to ask to know what he meant.

"No." I shook my head. "And for the record, you're better off dead than taking that stuff."

His gaze flashed upwards, rage burning through them. "What did you say?"

I took a step back. This guy was drunk and dangerous. I had to take Mia to safety- wherever that may be.

I looked at Mia. Her face was deadly pale, water glowing through those blue eyes. She caught me staring and met my gaze. She was trembling.

"You didn't answer my question, Rose." The way he said my name caused shivers to run through me. I never was one to rely on people but I wished Jesse was here. I wish he was here with me. Right now.

I looked at Ralf, "You heard me right. You're as good as dead when you take that stuff."

He lunged at me unexpectedly, pushing me back to the brick wall. My head banged against it and a shot of dizziness went through me. All I could feel was his fingers on my throat, his cigarette stained breath against my skin.

"Bet you didn't talk to your boyfriend like that." He growled, his tone laced with venom. "Who do you think you are anyway?"

"Ralf." I could hear Mia step up.

"Don't-" I croaked and he tightened his grip around my neck.

"You want to play too, Barbie?" Ralf turned and looked at her in a way that made her take a few steps back. "Why did you come here?"

"We were looking for Aaron." She replied. There was strength in her voice that I admired. "And seeing as he's not here, we'll be on our way."

His fingers pressed against the side of my throat, forcing their way into my skin. I couldn't breathe. All the air in me was clogged up in my throat. My muscles were tight, it hurt to move. My stomach felt twisted making me sick.

I groaned, trying fight him or at least make him loosen his hold. It was useless.

"Let her go." Mia's voice turned frantic. She stepped in and tried to break his grip from around my neck. He used his arm to push her back.

I could hear her scream and the sound of a fall follow.

Ralf's eyes bored into mine, wild with the urge for death. I struggled, trying to kick him in the shins but that only made him angrier.

"What are you hiding?" He spat the words at me. "What?"

I tried to swallow, "Let me go and I might tell you." The words came out choked and hoarse.

"Ralf." It was a different voice this time. "Let her go."

My vision was blurred with tears and I couldn't see who it was. It sounded like a man though.

Ralf fingers loosed. I used this opportunity to gulp in as much oxygen as I could take. Air never felt so good.

His fingers finally came undone and I slid down against the wall to concrete ground.

The side of my neck burned with pain like it was raw and exposed. His hold was strong enough to leave marks and bruises for sure.

"What is this?" Ralf said, his tone shaking with a subtle hint of a laugh. "High school reunion?"

I shifted so I could peer over to see who it was. Aaron stood there.

It was about time.

He cleared his throat, "Where's Mia?"

Ralf shrugged and stepped to the side. Mia lay against the floor, blood trickling down from her temple. Her hands were wrapped around her stomach. The baby. My heart missed a beat.

"Shit." Aaron said, shoving Ralf to side. He crouched down over Mia's body that seemed almost lifeless. "Mia?"

She looked at him, her eyes wide with fear. "I'm okay."

"I'm so sorry." Aaron whispered, helping her up. "I didn't mean-"

"Fucking shut up." She cut him off, her body swaying from side to side as she tried to regain balance. She looked down at her arms that were still wrapped around her abdomen.

"Is it..." Aaron let it trail, his voice hushed.

Mia nodded. "It's okay."

"Mia. I really mean it." Aaron said, taking her face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

"I know," She shrugged, still caressing her stomach. "Otherwise you won't be here."

I tried to stand up as well, to at least offer comfort but my body wouldn't obey. It just wanted to lay here.

"I could get used to this." Ralf remarked, pacing in a small circle.

Aaron's eyes flashed up at the sound of his voice. "Get out."

Ralf stopped in his spot. "What?"

"Clear out." Aaron said, balancing Mia's weight on one side of him.

"We are not leaving." Ralf stepped in front, "Not unless we get what we want. Not unless Jesse or she-" His eyes flickered to me, "Hands it over."

I cleared my throat, "Listen Ralf, not right now. We can't give them to you."

"But can you take them from us?" He challenged, his eyes blazed through me. "Jesse's not coming back is he?" he didn't wait for clarification. "We need you to carry on where he left. It's the legacy."

Legacy? What legacy?

Instead of asking what he was going on about, I said, "I'm not like that anymore."

He crouched down in front of me, "Are you not?" he pulled out a plastic packet from his back pocket. He held it in front of my eyes like he was about to hypnotise me. "Prove it."

* * *

The club was lighted with lasers and lights. The ground was shaking, people were screaming and drinking like there was no tomorrow. Men were doing stuff with women in the corners that should really be done behind closed doors.

My head spun. I stumbled a number of times over the boots Mia lent me till I finally reached the bar. I got up on the dainty stool before placing my hands flat on the table.

I shouldn't have taken whatever they gave me. The true effects were getting to me. Damn my pride to protect our dignity.

I was not like them. And I knew it. Vladimir's had changed me even in the little time I was there. It had changed me and I didn't even realise. It made me sick now to be around places that reeked of smoke and alcohol.

My ears buzzed with a ringing sound that never changed. The tune remained dull and lifeless.

"Hey there," A man slid into the seat beside me. He wore a white dress shirt with most of the buttons undone. A cigarette hung from his mouth and I could smell the smell of alcohol radiating off him from all the way over here.

He looked at me. His cheek bones were high and sharp. His jade eyes reminded me of Lissa's. His lips were curved to side into a playful grin and the tips of his blond hair barely touched the arch of his eyebrows. He was handsome, no doubting that.

I wouldn't classify him as Dimitri kind of hot but that doesn't say that he wasn't sexy.

I nodded at him in acknowledgement. "Hey."

He must have found something in me attractive because he didn't drop his stare.

"Adrian." He held out a hand.

I hesitated before shaking it. His skin was rough against mine and oh-so-warm. "Rose."

"And what a one are you." He winked, snapping his fingers to call over the bartender. He shot out a name of something that sounded like a type of beer before looking me, "You drink?"

"No, not really." I started to shake my head but he was already doubling the order.

I kept my gaze down, studding the pale lines in the wood. They curved around the edges like they were fishes travelling upstream.

The waiter was back, placing two tall glasses in front of us. He filled them up with deep golden liquid that bubbled with gas, before leaving the bottle between us.

Adrian shot a word of thanks at him, lifting the glass to his lips. "So, what brings you here?"

It took me a second to realise the question was aimed at me.

"Um," I stuttered, looking at the contents in the glass. "My pride."

"Pride." He chuckled, his laugh husky and deep unlike Dimitri's that was warm and welcoming. His personality was charming almost seducing. "It ruins us all."

I smiled, lifting the glass up. The cool, broad rim pressed against my bottom lip. The liquid swelled up and I parted my lips enough for just a sip. It tasted like it smelt. Bitter.

"What about you?" I asked, putting the glass down.

He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, "Hmmm?"

"What brings you here?"

He shrugged, the muscles in his broad shoulders rippled, "The usual. My girlfriend and I got into an argument."

I tried to act like the fact that he had a girlfriend didn't faze me, keeping my gaze fixed on him, "About what?"

"College." He sighed, putting his drink down. The glass was already half empty. "She wants to go to College but it's like miles from home and..." he let it trail. He looked down then back up at me. Our eyes locked and I felt a sudden shot of excitement burst through me. "It's just-" He didn't finish.

"What?" I looked at him from under my lashes.

He swallowed, his Adams apple dipping down his throat when he did. "We're so different. Sydney, my girlfriend, and I. It's like she's had her whole life mapped out since she was born and I... I don't know what I want."

There was something in his tone that pierced through me. Was it pain? Sorrow?

I touched my hand to his causing something like a spark to pass between us. "If you want to talk..." I don't why I said it. I didn't even know this guy to start with.

He looked at me, moving his stool and inching closer so that I could almost feel his skin on me. I felt his hands clasp around my forearms that were on my lap. Not tightly or in a way that seemed like he was taking advantage of me. Just soft and light. Almost intimately.

The hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood up. I'd only felt this feeling when Jesse used to touch me... or when Dimitri had touched me that day...

His breath washed against my skin, burning with the smell and taste of alcohol.

"I don't want to talk." Adrian whispered. Every bit of him screamed the word 'dangerous' at this moment.

I looked into his eyes. They were blazing with lust. I wanted it. I wanted him. No matter how wrong it may be.

"Neither do I," I kept my voice low.

He leaned closer so that our noses brushed against each others. My heart sped up; sweat building up on my palms and neck.

"Don't tell Sydney." Ever so lightly he touched his lips to mine. I closed my eyes. He tasted like cigarette smoke mixed with bitter alcohol.

This was wrong.

But maybe this was it.

Maybe he could make me forget.

"I won't." I leaned forward on the stool so I could open his mouth with mine. He obliged. I felt his tongue against mine, dancing a dangerous game of tango.

In a moment, we both were standing. His hands were all over me, slipping under my shirt. My skin was cool against his. The curve of the bar counter dug into my back but it didn't hurt. It felt good.

He had me trapped. Both hands on my waist and a leg on either side of me so that our hips jutted out into each other.

We both were under influences of substances, unaware and numb with pain.

I didn't know why I was doing this. All I knew was that I had too. I had to keep kissing him because if I stopped, I would break. The thoughts would come back and reality would set in. He was my escape route.

Adrian moved against me, tugging my shirt higher and higher up my body with both his hands. His hands reached the curve of my breasts. He caressed them with his hands, the whole time managing to move his mouth along with mine in a smooth but dangerous rhythm.

I looped my arms around his neck pulling him in till he physically couldn't get any closer. Our hips grinded into each other. I could feel _him. _And I could feel _me_ wanting _him. _

He pushed into me electing a soft moan from the back of my throat. I felt one of his hands on the side of my face moving upward till he could thread his fingers through my hair. His other hand stayed below the curve of my breast, holding the fabric of my shirt up.

Experimentally, I moved against him so that our hips rubbed together.

"Fuck." He groaned, twisting his fingers tightly through a tuft of my hair. It hurt but I didn't care. I moved my lips down to his neck, sucking the skin there, wanting to taste all of him at once.

People must be watching but I wasn't stopping. Not now.

I moved my hands down to his hips. The clothing between us was frustrating. We had to get out of here before it was too late.

"Adrian," I whispered, keeping my lips close to his ear. "Take me-"I gasped as he hips pushed into me.

He growled, his teeth nipping at my skin.

Was I really going to lose my innocence to a stranger in a bar? It was cliché like a scene out of a movie. But right now, I didn't care. I would give everything as long as he could make me forget _him_.

Something vibrated. Adrian sensed it too because he pulled away. His lips were swollen, blond hair mussed and eyes wild with desire.

At that moment, the doors of the club flew open. The music stopped.

It was like death in a cowboy duster standing at the door way. All he needed was a riffle or two in the front to complete the look.

Dimitri.

Shit. I was good as dead right now. But he hadn't noticed me. Not yet.

I was shielded by Adrian's tall and lean frame.

"I have to go," I looked up at Adrian.

He frowned, confusion clouding his eyes. "What?"

I looked between him and the back door. I could make it.

I pushed him to the side and sprinted as fast as my legs would take me. From the corner of my eye I could see people step aside, pushing each other to the side to make way for the crazy lady. Dimitri caught sight of me.

I leaped over the table, barely, knocking chairs and bottles to the ground. I pushed open the door with my shoulder, swallowing the pain that followed. I skidded across the gravel outside the door, nearly losing grip and tripping. Stones glided under my feet, rough and jagged.

The cold air of the night got sucked into me like I was a vacuum. It was like ice against my throat, rough and hoarse. Tears to welled in my eyes as I tried to push the pain down. The air clogged my wind pipe so I couldn't breathe.

I could see people in the distance. I think, they were after me too because they were stationed like in an arch so nothing could get passed them.

I choked, trying to get oxygen into my system. It was too late. I stumbled over bottle, not realising it was there, watching as the world went black in front of my eyes.

* * *

**A/N: Review? **


	5. Chapter 5

****Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA****

**A/N: **Don't hurt me! I'm really sorry for the delayed update. School has been pretty stressful and I just haven't had much time to write. Sorry!

***Warning: Context may include drug and sexual references as well as explicit language.***

* * *

I could feel my heart beating in my chest, the warmth of my skin, the blood in my veins. I was alive.

Damn.

My eyes fluttered open to whiteness. I could only hope I wasn't where I thought I was.

Craning my head to the side, I noticed a machine next to my bed. The waves on the screen were steady and even.

White sheets were pulled up around me till the base of my neck. They were tucked into the mattress so tight that I couldn't even move. Not that I could go anywhere anyway.

"You're up," the sound of curtains being pulled was followed by a familiar voice.

Lissa walked over to machines, checking their readings like she'd done when I first arrived at the centre. She wore the standard nurse's outfit and had her notepad clutched to her chest. Her sunshine hair pulled up in a classic French twist.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice coming out hoarse.

She didn't even look at me. I didn't blame her. I'd used her and abused her privileges, why should she?

"You're bones are healing well." Her tone was stiff. "Here."

She walked over to the desk, putting her notepad down so she could fill a glass with colourless liquid. She brought it over to me.

"Thanks," I nodded, reaching for the cup. I sipped the liquid, it quenched the thirst that I didn't know I had. I took in a few more gulps before setting the glass down on the table next to me. "Liss, I-" I started but she cut me short.

"Lissa," Her tone caught me off guard. It was sharp and guarded. She blinked as if she had been taken aback as well. This was the first time I'd seen her angry. "My name's Lissa."

"Lissa," I swallowed, trying to act like what she said didn't faze me. But it did. "Look... I'm sorry."

Those glimmering jade eyes met mine, "For what?"

"Everything."

She was silent, studding me with her eyes. "Rose-" She paused, "I don't blame you for what you did but I just wish you had trust in me-"

"I do-"

She shook her head, "You would have told me if you did."

She was right. But it wasn't like I could have told her my plans. She'd send them after me.

"Liss," I started without realising. She stayed silent so I went on, "I would have told you but you know I had to silent. You have to understand that. "

"Why?" She turned to me, placing her hands on her hourglass shaped waist. Those jade eyes were clouded over with water. "Give me a reason to ever believe anything you say ever again."

Her words felt like something had been lodged in my throat. I couldn't breathe. If she could never trust me again, no one would.

I watched as a single bead of water escaped the side of her eyes. It was almost hypnotizing.

"You shouldn't." I whispered, feeling tears brimming to the edge of my lids as well. I cursed myself for being so weak. What was wrong with me? I hadn't cried in almost a year.

She just stared at me, tears rolling down her pink flushed cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I continued, swallowing the bile in my throat, "I'm sorry for taking advantage of you. You only meant good. I'm sorry-" I choked on silent sob. I was so deadly close to breaking down. "I'm sorry of using taking advantage of the Centre. I'm so fucking sorry... for everything."

I stopped. I was not going to cry. Not here. Not now. It was weak and I wasn't weak.

"Rose." Lissa stepped forward, the soles of her shoes clicking against the floor tiles. "I'm sorry too."

I looked up at her, "What are you talking about? Liss, you-"

"I'm sorry for being so harsh." She said, placing a hand on the side of the mattress, "You've been through a lot and rational thinking was probably the last thing on your mind. I understand, Rose. I understand." She coughed out a sob.

I reached out a hand for hers, feeling that it was the only thing I could do. She took it, giving it a slight squeeze. Her skin was cool against mine. It was so soft and felt like the skin on a new-born baby.

"I understand," She looked at me, her eyes puffy and red. "I understand."

I felt something wet on my cheek. It rolled down my chin before it dropped to my neck. It was followed by another one.

The feeling was foreign. Unusual. The saltiness on my chapped lips, the stickiness on my flesh;

Lissa leaned down over the bed, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight. I felt her tears soak through my shirt. I did my best to wrap my arms around her. It wasn't awkward at all. In fact, it was beautiful.

My stomach fluttered, warmth filling my insides. So this is what it feels like to be cared about. To be loved.

Maybe it was just a few weeks but in that time- corny as it may sound I'd found a friend. Someone who cared about me even though I'd fucked up so bad and hurt them. Someone who had my back no matter what. And I had hers.

Mia was my friend too. She could be a bitch at times but she was still my friend none the less. But never had I felt this kind of closeness with her. Like I could tell her all my secrets and she could tell me mine without judgement.

Right now, Lissa felt like the sister I never had.

I let myself give into her embrace and relax as I did something I hadn't done in more than a year. I cried.

* * *

The crunching of dead leaves beneath my shoes was almost soothing. I hugged my coat tighter around me for warmth. The cold prickled against my exposed skin and I sniffed. Winter was nearing.

Lissa had discharged me just fifteen minutes ago with advice to 'get plenty of rest'. I didn't know what had happened to Mia and the others or whether the Centre was going to let me keep all limbs. Apparently, Lissa hadn't heard about what would happen to me either. Dimitri was the jury. I was on my way to face the music.

It could only be around ten at night and my hopes were high that he was still awake.

He wasn't at the gym or the front office. His quarters were the only option left.

I could not wait for dawn. The knowledge of not knowing killed me.

This part of the centre was alive with wall lamps that glowed golden. There were around three blocks of rooms in rows one behind the other. This is where the 'supervisors' stayed.

43. The number stared back at me from the crumpled piece of paper in my hand.

I squinted, trying to read the sign at the beginning of the third block of buildings.

ROOMS: 30-45 the sign read. I was on the right track. He should be the third last room.

I quickened my pace down the corridor finally stopping in front of the room that had the numbers 43 stuck on in block letters. The lights were on. That was a sign, right?

I let myself have a second. I could take whatever he had to give. Even if it was expulsion.

I didn't know where I could go. I barely had any cash in my pocket let alone a job and a place to stay.

Rayne would accept me back to the group since I was one of her favourites. I guess there were Jesse's and my savings in the bank that would get me through for a few months. But where could I stay? I couldn't go back to that apartment. It would just be wrong.

I let out the breath I'd been holding in as I raised my arm to knock against the wood. It hit my knuckles. Cold and hard.

I could hear shifting and shuffling followed by muffled voices. Shit. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.

The next few seconds felt like hours. My breath was lodged mid way up throat. My insides were tight and twisted. Sweat trickled down the side of my face even this cold.

The door opened.

I held my breath.

Dimitri stood on the other side. His long hair rolled down his bare shoulders. Water droplets hung on the ends of it like tiny diamonds. He was topless. I could see every muscle, every fine curve of his abs. Only a pair of tracks hung low on his hips.

I nearly forgot what I came here for.

"Rose," He breathed seeming honestly surprised by my presence. "You're up."

I nodded, managing some sort smile. I think. "Hi."

"Hey." He stared at me, his gaze never shifting.

"Hi." I repeated, silently cursing myself for looking like a fool in front of him. Not a single coherent went through my mind let alone reached my tongue when I looked at that body of his.

Dimitri waited expectedly, those eyes never leaving mine.

"So," I began. I could do this.

"So?" He raised an eyebrow.

"So," my breaths were shaky, "I'm sorry."

He blinked, "For what?"

"Look I know I fucked up-"

"Language-"

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes, surprising myself at the sharpness of my tone. I was here to bargain a truce not to set fire to fumes. "I know I've made a few wrong choices. And I know that I've let you down. But you should know that I'm sorry. Just that."

He continued to keep his stare on me.

I felt like getting down on my knees and begging him to say something. Anything. Hell, if he even yelled at me. As long as he would speak.

"I guess that's it," I said, starting to turn. "But thank you. For everything, I'll be on my way."

I barely had taken a step when he reached out for me. His skin grazed mine causing currents to spiral through me.

"Don't." His voice was barely a whisper. He tightened his grip. I felt like a sinner wanting his hand to stay on mine forever.

Instincts made me turn. "You're not kicking me out?"

He stared at me long and hard as if he was pondering what I'd just said. The air between us thickened so much that I could feel it on my skin. Thank the Lord his hand was still on mine or I would've crumpled to nothingness.

"Rose." He drew in a long almost wistful breath, drawing his hand back. This was it. I closed my eyes bracing myself for the storm. I felt like a little girl just about to get her first 'talk'. You know the birds and the bee's one? Except this would be ten times worse. He continued, "I am appalled by your behaviour._ Disgusted_." he almost spat the word out, "You have no idea how much shit you've gotten us into, Rose."

I'd never heard him swear before. It was kind of thrilling in a twisted way.

He had become a man I never knew he could be. Fury radiated of him like sound waves. His hands lay down by his sides balled into fists that were ready to punch anyone that came within a metre of him.

Closing my eyes, I took a few breaths in and out. I called upon whatever strength I had left to aid me. I could take this. I deserved it.

"Dimitri-" I started but he cut me off.

"You've disgraced the entire centre. You've disgraced me. You've disgraced Lissa. You're behaviour disgusts me, Rose." His gaze sharpened, "You disgust me."

Those three words did so much more that just hurt.

It was like a tire full of air and someone came a punctured it. It was like that with his words. They cut through me like a knife, slashing deep through my flesh.

And for a second I felt that I was back on that stage. It was Saturday, the worst night of them all. Smoke, alcohol filled the air with their purity. Men were watching, lust in their eyes. I was standing against the pole. The cold metal dug into my back. My flesh was stripped completely off clothing leaving me exposed, vulnerable and humiliated.

Blinking away the tears that threatened to spill, I brought myself back to the sting of the present.

"I almost feel sorry for you." He continued, not even bothering to look or ask if I was still breathing. "You're such a strong, smart woman. You have an entire future ahead of you that is so bright and wonderful that it saddens me to see that you would just throw it away. You have potential, Rose. So much potential. You just have to realise it."

His words warmed me with a feeling of- hope? Was that what it was called?

"And I'm willing to forget if you are." Dimitri continued, searching my face with his eyes. "I'm willing to give you a second chance- that is if you are willing to put in the effort because believe it or not, I think you deserve it."

I didn't believe it. Why was he doing this? I mean, I would fuck up either way. It's how I am.

"You're so good to me." I whispered, locking my eyes with his almost identical ones. "Why?"

"Must there always be a reason why?" His lips curved slightly upward. "Is it just too hard to accept the fact that you can change? Or is it the fact that someone believes in you?"

I didn't admit it but it was.

My mother didn't believe in me. My father left to early to even get to know me.

I was a reject with no family and no money. I'd seen plenty of movies to know what would happen to someone like me. I'd do drugs, get drunk, pop out a few kids and screw myself up and then, eventually, die.

_I_ didn't believe in me.

I looked at him from under my thick lashes. He was too good to be true. And goddamn him for it.

Dimitri reached out, sweeping a strand of hair off my face with the tips of his fingers. The way his skin touched mine was electric. Like a thousand little shock waves shooting through me all at once.

I found myself leaning in towards him before I could stop myself.

"You should wear it out." Dimitri whispered, tucking a strand behind my ear.

"Hmm?" I hummed, looking up at him.

"Your hair," He kept his voice steady while keeping his eyes on mine. It was like he could see past my soul.

Heat crawled its way up to my cheeks. "You can take it out if you like."

He raised an eyebrow. I knew it was a question and nodded an answer.

Dimitri reached both hands around my head before detangling my hair from the rubber band. I prayed it would come out smoothly. It did.

Like waves my hair rolled down my shoulders. I could feel it tickle the skin on the back of my neck.

"Beautiful." He whispered, tangling a finger around a lock of it. "You have beautiful hair, Roza."

"Roza?" My brows furrowed.

He blinked, seeming almost sheepish. "Your name in Russian. Roza."

My mouth formed a little 'O' shape. That was so beautiful. Roza, Roza, Roza...

I liked it.

He slid a hand up to rest on the bare skin of my neck while untangled his other from around my hair before letting it fall to my waist. He pulled me in. Those deep chocolate eyes locked with mine. Their dephts seemene endless.

There was something about this moment that made every part of me tingle with both fear and excitement. I let my gaze leave his so they could follow the straight line of the bridge of his nose to his lips. I ached to know how they'd feel on mine.

He leaned in closer, almost hesitantly like this was an experiment. I couldn't do anything but just stand there.

I knew it was wrong and that I didn't deserve it but I didn't want him to pull away either.

His lips were so close that I could almost feel them. Just a little closer-

"Dimka?" A voice startled us. We broke apart, chests heaving and breaths ragged. We'd looked like two kids that had been caught doing something naughty. And in a way, we were.

"Tasha," Dimitri said. His mask was back up, all emotions erased from his face just like that.

Tasha. She was Tasha? _The_ Tasha Ozera?

I clenched my jaw to keep it from dropping. I squinted, trying to see her but she was hidden in the shadows.

"Who are you?" Her voice was crisp and unfriendly. She stepped out of the darkness and I sucked in a gasp.

The lady that stood in front of us had rich, jet black hair that rolled down her shoulders. Her heart shaped face made her look so innocent. Those blue eyes matched the ones of Christian's with the exception that hers were narrower and sharper. Her skin was pale even under the light, lips a soft pink.

She would have been flawless if weren't for those dark purple scars and bruises on her cheek. It looked like someone had tried to attack her or she was bitten by a wild animal.

"I asked you a question." I blinked out of my daze at the sharpness of her tone. Who did this lady think she was?

"Rose." I said quickly. "Hathaway."

She took another step forward, her boots tapped against the concrete.

"The runaway," Her lips curved to the side, "I've heard about you."

I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or some sort of vague insult. I settled for silence.

"Rose is one of the students I'm currently training," Dimitri said, uncomfortably shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Tasha eyes raked down me, "I see. What were you doing out here?"

Did she have to make this more uncomfortably awkward than it already was?

I looked at Dimitri, hoping he'd get the message. He did.

"I was just telling Rose about the change of plans. She'd be staying with us at the Centre and we'll be working on a new training schedule." He kept his voice low and toneless.

I nodded when Tasha looked at me for justification.

"Well it was a pleasure meeting you Rose," She held out a hand. "But Dimitri and I have matters to take care of."

I wasn't really given much of a say in this so I shook her outstretched hand. It was then my eyes fell on the glittering ring on her left hand ring finger.

"You're married?" I whispered, pulling away. I don't know why I was surprised.

She drew her hand back before bringing her left hand up so she could study the ring. "Engaged." she turned to look at Dimitri who had turned surprisingly pale. "Dimitri's my fiancé. We're getting married this month."

Fiancé? Married? Why hadn't Dimitri mentioned any of this to me? I mean, we almost...

"C- congratulations." I said, feeling suddenly so small. I couldn't look at him. Not now. Maybe not ever.

"Thank you," She smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

I looked down at my feet. I had to say something. To Dimitri at least but I couldn't. This new information clawed at me. At my skin. At my heart almost ripping it out.

Keeping my eyes fixed to the ground I said, "I've got to go but it was wonderful to meet you."

I didn't wait for their answer. I didn't wait for anything- not even to contemplate how rude my next actions would be.

I just ran.

* * *

The woman stared back at me.

Those almond eyes that usually glowed with determination were now drooped appearing tired and sad. It almost hurt to look at my purplish-blue skin. Rings hung low on my eyes. There was a bruise of my forehead and cheek from the fall.

I wondered what had happed to the woman I was so used to seeing staring back at me.

I missed the warm golden glow of her skin, her vixen eyes and her flawless skin. Where was the glimmer of excitement and ambition in her wide eyes? Where was she?

I ran the brush through the thin strands of hair.

_Fiancé. _The word rang through my mind like a curse.

I yanked the brush down my hair not even wincing at the pain that followed.

_We're getting married this month. _

It wasn't that- the fact that that bitch and Dimitri were getting married- it was the fact that Dimitri had never mentioned it to me.

Knocks against wood stirred me away.

It must be at least past eleven now, who was-

"Rose, I know you're in there." The voice was too familiar to deny not knowing who it was. "Fucking open the door!"

I hurried to answer it before she could break it down. My feet scarped roughly against the wooden boards.

I pulled it open only to reveal the wrath waiting behind them.

Strands of her golden locks stuck to the skin of her face. She looked pale. Paler than usual that is. Her skin looked like sandpaper. Her blue eyes were dim with dark bags hanging under them.

"You bitch." She spat the words out. I blinked unexpectedly and stepped back. "You're a fucking bitch, Rose!"

But it wasn't rage that lit eyes it was tears. Tears that streamed down her pale cheeks. Down her lips, usually plump and rose, now dull and cracked, before rolling down her chin.

"Mia." I started as gently as I could. I reached out for her. I didn't really want to deal with this now.

She jumped back like she'd been bitten by a snake. Her eyes found mine. The hatred in them froze me to the spot. "Don't you dare fucking touch me, Rose. Don't you dare."

Her voice was venom. She was the predator and I was her victim. I might as well have a knife through my throat than deal with her rage.

When Mia was angry, she was angry.

"What did I do, huh?" My voice trembled. I felt anger in my veins. "What did I fucking do?"

"You ruined everything!" She growled, "Everything!"

"What?" I could feel it in my throat. Fury. It was choking me. "I got myself in this shit because of you Mia. I left because I wanted to help you sort out the shit you'd gotten into. And okay, it didn't work but I did it." I caught my breath, "For you!"

She opened her mouth as if she was going to speak but then shut it. Her expression softened. She sighed, "I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

"Huh?" I frowned. So many questions raced through my mind.

How was she? What was she doing at the centre? Where was Aaron? What happened after I fell? Where was Ralph and the others?

"They contacted my dad." She didn't need to say more. I'd never met the guy myself but the stories Mia had told me over the years weren't the ones with fairytale endings. Her blue eyes met mine, "They're making me give him up. _My _baby,"

And that was it. It felt like all our efforts had come down to this. One single declaration.

I closed my eyes, "Shit."

All my anger faded turning to something I couldn't describe. A lump rose in my throat and my stomach flipped. I knew she wouldn't be able to do anything. At sixteen and pregnant with a father like Mr Rinaldi, you might as well start writing your will.

"And that's not all." Mia didn't stop there. Just as I wondered how it could get any worse, it did. "They've pressed charges of rape against him."

My eyes fluttered open at her words. "Aaron?" The word was just a breath of air.

"He's been arrested."

* * *

**A/N: **Review? Please?


	6. Chapter 6

****Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns VA****

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay! This chapter was meant to be up by Christmas but life got in the way so apologies for that and apologies again because this chapter hasn't been edited. I would like to thank all the people who added this to their alert and favourite lists but most of all to those who reviewed. You guys are amazing and it means a lot. **  
**

***Warning: Context may include drug and sexual references as well as explicit language.***

* * *

I stood with my back against the back windscreen of the car. My duffel bag was by feet, my sunglasses resting on the top of my head, pushing my hair back. The air was slightly chilling, autumn fresh in the air. I hugged the coat tighter around me. Air tingled at my skin, touching my face, neck and anywhere my skin was exposed to it. It was almost presents like. Jesse like.

I shook my head in disbelief. It was silly. Ghosts. They were supernatural. Supernatural were _supernatural. _Non-existent.

I wasn't a believer, never had been, but I wasn't even sure about _that _now. Jesse was dead. I had accepted that. I think I had at least.

"Hey." Lissa's voice came up from behind me. I whirled around, my hair slapping against my face as I did.

"Liss," I smiled, my previous thoughts fading away.

"You don't have to come, you know." She said, coming around so she was facing me. She placed her hands on my shoulders, that angelic smile spread on her face like butter on a slice of toast.

"I know," I shrugged causing her hands to slip from their place on shoulders to my arms. "But I want to."

She rolled her eyes, drawing her hands back. "We can leave anytime just say the word, okay?"

I nodded, "I know. Thank you."

Her smile came back on, "My pleasure. Now, are we ready to get this show on the road?"

"Hold on," I looked around, "Is Christian here yet?"

"He is." Footsteps followed by a voice came around the corner.

Knapsack, over his shoulder, Christian smiled that half boyish smile as he came into our view.

"On time too." Lissa said. I noticed her cheeks flushing, turning them red.

Christian's smile grew, "For once,"

Lissa giggled, her smile widening. I stood in awkwardly between them not sure what to do.

"I have something for you," Christian said, reaching over his back so he could unzip his bag. He reached in and pulled out a small, untidily wrapped present in the shape of a box. He held out for Lissa, his hand reaching past me like I was the air in between them.

"Me?" She asked, her brows furrowing. I nearly slapped my hand to my forehead at the fake obliviousness in her voice.

"Yeah, a gift from an angel to an angel." Christian said, leaving Lissa glowing.

I frowned in confusion. So, Christian was saying that he was the angel? I nearly rolled my eyes at the thought of it. This guy had no idea what he was doing. I didn't blame him though. Play ground crushes were cute.

Lissa reached out, taking the box from him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He nodded curtly, leaning down. "But don't open it yet, princess." He kissed her cheek before pulling back and winking. "Where do I leave this?"

"Here," It was the first word I'd said in five minutes. I didn't know about them but I was proud of my contribution. Turning around, I pulled open the car boot before reaching down and dumping my duffel bag in it. I took Christian's knapsack, dumping it next to mine. "What about your things, Liss?" I turned around.

She was staring ahead, eyes wide and hopeful with her pale cheeks glowing the shade of red.

"Earth to Lissa." I snapped my fingers in front of her eyes.

She gasped, her eyes filling up with reality. "What?"

"Your bag?" I asked.

Her mouth formed a 'o' shape. "Right."

Her heels crushed the gravel under the force of them when she turned around. Christian looked at me and I just shrugged.

Lissa came back around from the side of the wan, dragging something behind her.

"A suitcase?" Christian's jaw dropped, "Liss, we're going for _one_ weekend."

She looked up at him, "A girl's got to be prepared."

"Whatever," Christian shrugged, "I'll go sit up the front-"

"No!" I stopped him in his tracks. Two pairs of eyes flashed up to me. "I can sit up front."

"Oh no, Rose." Lissa said, placing a hand on my shoulder like she was about to comfort me. "You and Mason will be up the back."

My eyes went wide, "He's coming?"

Lissa frowned in confusion, "Yeah, so is Mia and Eddie."

"What?" This time it was my mouth that dropped open, "Wh-what do you mean _Mia_ is coming? I thought it was just us three."

"Well," Lissa sighed, "I thought it would be a good getaway for all of them and-"

"And?" I tried to cock an eyebrow up.

"And nothing." Lissa finished.

My shoulders slumped, "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I did!" She protested, "But you were too busy counting the freckles on Mason face."

I let out an un humour laugh, "I was not!"

"Rose, seriously, its fine." Lissa smiled, "Mase is a good guy, he's good for you."

"There is _nothing_ between me and Mason-" I started.

"You sure?" Christian snickered.

I turned to him, silently shooting him daggers with my eyes. "Yes, why would you even think that?"

"Oh my god," Christian slapped his hand to his forehead. "Did you even have to ask that?-"

Lissa interrupted his game of 20 questions, "Rose, that guy is head over heels for you. He practically worships the ground you walk on."

I took a step back, "He shouldn't." I took a deep breath in, "Look guys, I've been through so much-" I shot Lissa a look when she tried to interrupt. "And you're right, Mase is a good guy but I don't deserve him. He's worth more than someone like me." Christian and Lissa stared at me with half-open mouths.

Lissa took a step forward, "Rose, you're a-"

"I don't want your sympathy," I said, adding, "Please. Accept this. Accept me. Accept the fact that now is to fast to soon." I didn't mean to be a bitch but I couldn't keep mucking around with guys even if it was for the better. I wasn't a slut and as much as people put that label upon me, I wasn't.

Hesitating, she nodded silently, her emerald eyes glowing softly in the sunlight.

Christian cleared his throat, "So, what? Are we-"

"There they are." Lissa said, looking into the distance. She nodded. "Let's go."

"Wait," I said, interrupting for the second time. "Who's our supervisor?"

"I am." My blood ran cold. Shit. That Russian accent wasn't what I was expecting. I mentally slapped myself, knowing I should have told Lissa everything. She would've understood. _She _would have done something but it was too late.

I turned to the side almost reluctantly. My eyes instantly locking with his almost identical ones, "Dimitri."

* * *

"Can we turn this off?" I asked, slouching back into the leather seat. I had gotten my front spot after all. Mason, Christian and Lissa sat behind me, now all asleep and in the seat behind theirs was Eddie and Mia's.

Mason's head was against the glass, his snores filling the car. Lissa was curled up next to Christian, their arms around each other. Christian's head rested on the crown of Lissa's, his eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful that I was almost jealous.

Eddie was awake though but he was too far up back for us to talk without walking the others. Mia was leaning against his, her head on his shoulder. I wondered what it meant.

"Is it bothering you?" Dimitri said, eyes glued to the endless road ahead. The radio was on low, crap eighties music playing faintly through the speakers.

"It is for a matter of fact so I'd appreciate it if you turned it off." I replied.

We hadn't said much since that time on his front porch. Training had been 'suspended' since Monday. My mind flashed back to the moment.

_One. Two. Three. I curled my fingers around the rod of metal and lifted it with all I had in me. I could feel pain hit my lungs and abdomen almost crushing the organs under its weight. _

"_Higher." Dimitri instructed, pacing restlessly in front of me. _

_Easier said than done. I thought. _

_I grunted, squeezing my eyes tighter as used all my strength to haul the rod of weights higher above my head. _

_My muscles groaned in pain. I could feel the stretch in them as I mustered all the strength in me to lift them as I high as my arms could bear the burden. My elbows curved in under the weight, my arms falling as if they were lifeless. They wheels of metal hit the ground with a ground shaking thud just in front of my feet. I was surprised it didn't create a crevice in the floor._

_I gave in to exhaustion, flopping down to the floor. My heart pounded so hard that I could hear the beat echo through my ears like a drum. _

"_I'm sorry," I breathed, my breaths coming out rough and jagged. "But you pushed me to far-"_

"_I didn't play a part in this, Rose. You're too distracted." I didn't even have to look to know the disgust he was feeling. I could hear it in his voice. I opened my mouth to argue but shut it. He was right. He always was. _

_Aaron had charges of rape pressed against him, Dimitri was about to give his life up to some woman who the equivalent to the nightmare on elm street and Dimitri hadn't said a thing about our almost kiss or whatever _that_ was._

_I could still almost feel the way his fingers threaded through my hair, so soft and delicate. _

_"Beautiful." He whispered, tangling a finger around a lock of it."Roza," was what he called me. "Your name in Russian." I remembered him saying. _

_My mouth parted as envisioned him opening my lips with his so tenderly. His arms would then circle my waist as he pulled me close. He would hold me, our chest against each others as we kissed. I let my eyes close to the rhythm our mouths moving together. _

"_Rose?" The voice was distant at first, getting louder gradually till it was almost a yell. _

_My eyes fluttered open. I felt flustered and tingly all over. _

_Dimitri looked at me. His brows were furrowed together, confusion in those warm chocolate depths._

"_Huh?" my voice sounded like a frog on its last breath. _

_He sighed, "We are done."_

_I blinked. "What?"_

"_I can't work like this." He huffed, his chest rising and falling heavily with each breath. "Come back when you're ready to at least listen to what I have to say."_

_Shit. I had done it. Again. __I let my thoughts take control of me. Let them devour me almost in the vilest of ways._

"_I'm sorry," I stood up, using my arms as leverage. "Let's go again."_

"_No!" His eyes locked with mine, blazing with annoyance. "Rose," He stopped, taking a second to study me with his eyes. "I'm doing this for you and the least you can do is act like you care!"_

_I cringed on the inside but didn't let it show. I wasn't going to appear vulnerable. At least not in front of him. I stepped forward, "Maybe you should get your head out of your ass and realize the world isn't all about you." _

_He didn't blink. He didn't speak. He didn't move not even to cringe. I wish he did._

"_I'm sorry." I closed my eyes, feeling the flame inside me slowly die to a spark. "Look, I know it's difficult for you but, try to understand that I've got lot of shit on my plate right now and-"_

"_Stop." I shivered at the harshness of his tone. He let his eyes shut and muscles loosen. I saw them ripple against his skin as they relaxed. "Rose. Just stop. " He looked at me as if he had laser vision and was trying to bore the light into my skin. It was working. My eyes fell to my feet but not in shame but in cowardice and that was the most shameful thing of it. _

_In the cold silence, we stood, feet firm on the wooden floor just a few feet away from each other. I knew I should speak up for me- for both of us but what would I say? I'm sorry? Hell. This wasn't just my fault. I knew he wanted it as well. I knew it by the way he touched me that night. It was like he was touching a petal of a rose. I was the rose. _

_Our silence drew out. It was like a long second that seemed to never want end._

"_Rose... Look at me." He finally said, his voice suddenly quiet and gentle. _

_I shook my head, eyes still planted to the ground. "Why? Dimitri, please, why? Did we have something or where you trying to prove something? Or was it the fact that one wasn't good enough?"_

_He drew in a breath; I heard the noise echo off the walls. "You knew too, Rose. About Tasha, the wedding... the baby,"_

_My gaze flitted up at the sound of her name. My teeth gritted together, sudden anger spiralling through me causing my hands to ball into fists. "It's not even yours."_

"_What?-" He paused, "What are you talking about?" _

I stayed silent.

"_Tell me." Fury raged in his voice._

_"You wouldn't want to hear it." I sucked in a deep almost wistful breath, "And I knew but at least I was trying to forget about this... us but you make it so hard and god damn you for it!" I sniffed, wrinkling my nose. _

"_I think..." He started, "That maybe we should suspend these lessons until-"He left it hanging. There was no point of finishing anyway. _

_Sure. I thought. Suspend the lessons and everything will be solved. Instead I said, _"_If that's what you want then..." I left it hanging. _

"_Roza." He reached out, his fingers tightening around my wrist. I looked up, catching his gaze in them. "I can't."_

_I nodded, swallowing the heartbreak that threatened, "I know." _

_He let go of his grasp over my hand. It was suddenly cold. I shivered from the loss of his energy on mine as I walked out the door._

I blinked back into reality. It was nearly sun down. Amber and blue coloured the sky like crayons across a white, blank page.

"What do you suggest?" Dimitri asked.

I turned my head, "What?"

"We listen to?"

"Oh," I leaned back, I could feel the coolness of the leather through my shirt. The radio still played, softly. Lissa told me that he, Dimitri, was every girls dream. He had a way with words, a good figure and an accent that could melt you to the spot. The perfect man. But now, I see his biggest flaw. He had terrible taste in music.

I turned the radio dial, the music stations shifted. I pulled away satisfied with my choice. It wouldn't have been my first but it was better than having to tolerate that eighties shit for a whole hour and half more.

Dimitri looked at me, one eyebrow up, "Really?'

I shrugged, "Beats your choice at least."

He didn't reply. I didn't expect him too.

I let my lids close, my body becoming lighter and lighter as I drifted into pure bliss.

* * *

"Rose?" I felt my body shake, an urgent voice stirring me awake "Rose?! Wake up,"

"Fuck off." I groaned, trying to turn but my seatbelt restricted me of that. I groaned even louder in frustration.

"We're here." I felt the weight on my shoulders drop as the person let go.

I opened one eye, squinting against the sunlight. Mason's face was so feverishly close to mine. I could feel his breath on my skin, his face almost touching mine. Strands of auburn hung in front of his eyes that were as blue as a sea.

"Sorry." I mumbled, sounding like a frog on its last breath when I did.

He chuckled, "It's fine. Want a hand?"

I sighed, trying to stretch, "I've got it."

I un-strapped myself from the seat using Mason's arm as a grip as I jumped to the ground. The concrete path made the soles of my feet sting, sending vibrations of shock up my leg.

It was beautiful. The house in front of us looked like white, marble castle with pillars reaching past the side. The driveway was arched, red payment tiles lining the ground. It looked like an executive hotel. All that was missing was butler in a black suit with a matching bow tie.

I let out a low whistle, "Don't tell me this is Lissa's home." I turned around, catching Mason's eyes that were fixated on me.

"Then I shall not tell." His lips curled up into a sly smirk. I returned it, our gazes locking together sending a rush through me. The way his gaze lay on me made me flush. It felt ridiculous. I had been in front of hundreds of people ripping my clothes off and that even didn't make me feel embarrassed but one look from a silly boy had me turning amber on the spot. Jesse never made me blush with a gaze except when he stared at my chest and self consciousness crept through me or when he would touch me in places so soft it would feel like a dream.

The sound of a door being creaked open startled us. We jumped, the mood instantly dying to air.

"Rose!" Lissa squealed, blond hair whipping through the air behind her as she jogged down the marble staircase. "Come on, there's someone I'm dying for you to meet." Her hand came around my wrist, pulling me up. I tripped over my feet, stumbling over the edges of the steps.

"My stuff." I said, the words sounding like a gasp.

"Don't worry about it." I bumped into Lissa's back when she came to a sudden halt. She turned around to face me, green eyes sparkling under the front porch lights. They were the happiest I'd ever seen them yet they were lonely and sad at the same time. Like she was aching for something. "I need to warn you, Rose, don't freak out, okay?"

I frowned, creases forming between my brows, "Why would I-"

"You'll see." Her voice had turned soft and serious, "My uncle is awfully ill. He suffers from the Sandovsky's disease, it's genetic... And it's killing him day by day and-" She sucked in a breath, her hands shaking, "And there's no cure. The doctors, they've tried everything but..." She didn't finish.

I swallowed, suddenly unsure. Something went through me along with nervousness, it was fear.

I'd never had a proper family let alone someone in my family who had a fatal disease that took away their life day by day. Jeanine, my mother, when she was on heavy drugs, she started doing strange things. Her hands would shake like she had arthritis; her eyes would remain forever bloodshot. Every night or so a new man would come through our doors and screams of ecstasy would fill our house till one day there was not a sound to be heard from the bedroom down the hall.

"I'm ready." I said, knowing that I couldn't abandon Lissa after we'd come so far.

She looked at me, her eyes wet, "I'm sorry Rose for not telling you before. I'm not proud of this but he's the only family I have left."

"You don't have to apologize," My smile was weak. She tried to return it but a sob choked its way out of her mouth.

"Lissa?" Someone asked. It wasn't a familiar. More harsh and rough than most people's would be.

I looked up at the man who stood at the doorway and it took everything in me not to gasp.

He was fairly young, around his forties. His hair was brown and thin as paper, his skin deadly pale looking like scrunched up paper. His eyes were like Lissa's, a beautiful emerald green colour but his was shadowed by grey clouds. There were purple circles under them looking like bruises. I could see his bones through his flesh. His nose was long and angular with bumps along the bridge. His mouth was thin, chapped, pink line that seemed almost invisible in his face.

He wore a long robe the colour of wine that stretched down to his ankles, red slippers poking out from under the hem of it. The robe hung loosely on his body; I could see his hands poking out from the cuffs of it. His wrist was thin as child's and so white it was ghostlike.

"Ah," the man smiled, but it was a broken. "You must be Rose, I've heard so much."

He held on to the side of the entry way as he stepped through the door way. His steps were shaky like he was about to fall. He made his way towards us, the smile still on his face. I admired his strength.

"You're pretty thing, aren't you?" He said, eyeing me like a hawk. I don't know why but I felt uncomfotable.

"It's Rose," I returned the smile, holding out my hand. "Rose Hathaway."

"Pleasure. I'm Victor Dashkov." He took his hand in mine. I could see pale veins lacing up his arm. His fingers wrapped around mind, practically only skin and bone. "But you can call me uncle."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Happy holidays everyone! Hope you have a great time!**

**Leave a review? **


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